Quote Memories

One of the swaps I signed up for recently is one in which we share some of our favorite quotes.  As I was searching for quotes that I knew I would enjoy, I looked for some quotes by me.  And in doing so, I came across quotes that I took from TBR in 2004.  As I was reading over them, I kept laughing at the hilarity of some of them.  As such, I want to share them again.  So here is a blast from the past.  For those that were there, I hope your memories get tickled the same as mine did.

In Her Shoes
GM: Amber & Rich DiTullio

Paul Weimer as Hadrian
J.P. Brannan as Fletcher
Will Wagner as Talen
Mark W. as Kalman
Jeff McDonald as Kennard
BriAnne Searles as Kennan
Amber DiTullio as Maya (Only NPC Cousin)

Fletcher: I’ll make sure she (Maya) has water so she doesn’t get dehydrated.
Kennard: I’ll make sure THEY have water. (The three guards that Maya is supposed to be fighting and, quite possibly, will destroy.)

Amber: She’s Gerard’s daughter, what do you expect? (Re: her strength)
Kennan: Ummm…. (Raises hand)
Amber: But he’s Gerard’s SON!

BriAnne: I have an icicle?
Paul: It’s his sword. It’s just called Icicle.
BriAnne: Then you need to capitalize, Amber.
Amber: I did. That’s my capital I.
BriAnne: Capital I’s aren’t supposed to be dotted.

Random: What the hell is going on?
Kennard: I’m not sure Your Majesty. But we have your body here.

Fletcher (in Talen’s Body) after the acid: I did it, everyone saw me do it.
Talen: Then Dad’ll be pissed at ME!!!!

Maya to Keenan: I’m trying not to touch you.
Keenan: This is just wrong. My body is hitting on me!

Fletcher to Kalman: Think wet thoughts.
Keenan: Maya already is.

Kalman: It’s beginning to sound a lot like Brand.
Fletcher: No, if it were Brand, there’d be lots of Bwahahas.

Fletcher: I will take out my sword and try to cut through the bunting. At the very least, I’ll try to save the cute servants.

GM to Talen: You have boots. They didn’t have laces but they do now.
Kennard: Just for the record, that wasn’t one of my items.

Fletcher (talking about the “appreciation” he’s getting from one of the servants): In the Unicorn Paladins, they teach you to be pure of word and thought and deed.
Amber: That’s why you failed, isn’t it?

Hadrian: If wishes were horses.
Jeff: No! No horses! No horses! Wishes are a bad thing.

(After Mirelle says that she’s going to make Caine’s children “no more” because they’re icky.)
Hadrian: Do I no longer exist?
Jeff: No, you no longer have parents.

(Hadrian, showing up in the Trump Room of the castle after Mirelle tried to make him go away.)
Guard: Highness, I didn’t realize you’d left.
Hadrian: It was… an experiment.

Hadrian (upon getting first blood on Riktik, the demon): Score!
Fletcher: No, that’s what I was trying to do.

GM: You have julianned Riktik.
Kalman: Wait. Julian is Riktik?!!!

They burn the demon parts. Fletcher asks if there is a broom around.
GM: That’s what the servants are for.
Amber: Then Random comes in (in the servant Jennifer’s body) and starts sweeping up the powder.

(Talking about Mirelle being in either the throne room or Random’s quarters and someone commenting that it’s where they should start.)
Talen: Unless Random took Jennifer up there.
Amber: That’s just wrong. On so many levels.

Keenan (to Mirelle): This is your fault.
Mirelle: No, it’s not!
Keenan: Yes it is. You did magic and now we’re here with a little kid!

Quotes courtesy of Amber DiTullio and BriAnne Searles

Wizard in the Attic
GM: Paul Weimer

Amber DiTullio as Chenoa
JP Brannan as Fletcher
Brian Caldwell as Victor
Jennifer Woelke as Aegean
Jeff Trumitch as Bronner
Mark Stafford as Shawn

GM (to Fletcher): It’s 7 in the morning. What are you doing?
Amber: Which servant are you with this time?

Victor: Can I tell where it’s from? Is it from…
GM: Yes, it’s from that place. The unhappy place.
Mark: Go to your happy place.

(Re: the animated suit of armor that Fletcher just exploded.)
Bronner: I’m trying to figure out what animated it.
Fletcher: I have a theory.
Bronner: And what’s that.
Fletcher: Magic.

Bronner: I haven’t seen armor in well over 500 years.
Fletcher: Well, there’s probably not much collector’s value left.

Jeff to Victor: How did you get out of your room, anyway?
…
JP: There are new changes under the Amberite Disabilities Act.

Aegean: I’m waiting to see what happens from her challenge.
Amber: (Meep)
Aegean: That was not what I was expecting.

(After Shawn flicks off ichor from her blade)
Aegean: Wonderful, cousin. Wonderful.
Shawn: I’m not here to win friends and influence people.

GM (to Fletcher): You’re going to try to counter-spell Brand’s spell?!
Amber & Jenn, simultaneously: This is gonna be fun!

Shawn: Why don’t you go bug her for awhile?
Aegean: Him.
Shawn: Him.
Jenn: Why don’t you go bugger him for awhile?

Scipio to Aegean: Perhaps, cousin, we should discuss over breakfast why our cousin is so amiss?
Shawn: So what?
JP: A tool!

Brand: It was an experiment that failed.
Fletcher: An experiment in what?
Brand: Transportation.
Fletcher: Yeah, I think being bound in once place would be considered a failure.

GM: He blinks his eyes twice.
Bronner: And that would be… no?
Victor: Yes, I think two would be no in universal blinky code.

Aegean: Why are you going to hit this with a shovel?
Shawn: Because that’s what I do when I don’t know what to do. I hit it with a shovel.
(beat… beat)
Think how many things would have been better if you’d hit them with a shovel.

GM: It’s at the Fellbane, the plaza at the end of the world.
Mark: Is there a restaurant there?
GM: No, no restaurant.
Jeff: No, but there’s a Starbucks.

Shawn: Hit it with a shovel.
Random: That’s enough out of you.
Shawn: Hit it with a shovel.
GM: Random takes the jewel and…
JP: … sticks the jewel in your mouth.
Shawn: That’s not a shovel.

(When the shovel jokes are continuing)
JP: Let’s explain the Chaos Lord’s method of binding someone. First, you hit it with a shovel.

GM: He takes you into the demon laboratory. You see a variety of demons bound…
JP: And an assortment of shovels.

Shawn: I’d rather give my back to Fletcher than him (Bronner)
Fletcher: I have a way with the ladies.

Bronner: Well that’s good, because I’m not my father.
Fletcher: Well, that would be quite the paradox.

GM: They are adapting quickly.
Jeff: We are the Brand. You will be assimilated.

GM: You are drawn to the far side of the track.
Mark: We keep jumping from cheek to cheek.

Quotes Courtesy of Amber DiTullio

Dreams Made Flesh
GM: Paul Weimer

Amber DiTullio as Maya
Deb Atwood as Jenny
Tara Kunkel as Michaeline
Mark W as Raymond
Jeff McDonald as Connla
Will Wagner as John
JP Brannan as Clio

Jenny: Are Fiona and Bleys missing?
GM: Yes.
Jenny: That makes her happy.

GM: And the little thing (the demon) steps back and looks at you.
Jenny: I step back a little and look at IT!

NPC Woman in Michaeline’s bed: Darling, you never cease to amaze me.
Michealine: Well, I’m amazing.

Random: Where are you?
Jenny: Not in the place I went to bed!!!!

GM: There are no romance novels about Corwin and Dara yet.
Amber: It’s being ghostwritten.
Will: By Ghostwheel?

NPC Woman in Michaeline’s bed: She (Dara) always wants something.
Michaeline: She wants me at my earliest convenience. Right now it’s not convenient.

Tara: The unflappable Michaeline almost flapped.

Jenny: He told us to go someplace safe. As long as he doesn’t pace, he’s fine.
Amber: Random not pace?!!!

Random: Who is she?
Will: Just tell him you’re a secret agent for Queen Dara.

Jenny: We should go back and get them.
Michaeline: Except for John. We can leave him behind. We won’t miss him.

GM: The watching goes away because you have… insurance.
Amber: We have watching insurance?!

Jenny: Can you get Random a message for me? I’ve been kinda giving him a headache by accident.

(After John bounces off of a boundary around the patterny goodness.)
JP: You know, it might be on the second assault they set the deflection shield on random particle distribution.

Random (after he drinks the beer that Jenny gives him): That better not be poisoned.

GM to Clio: Are you following Maya’s path of doom?

Random: If you’re spies for Dara, you’re the best spies I’ve ever seen.
Amber & Deb: Or the worst!

(After a night of innuendo flying everywhere)
Clio to Dara: I think Random has something John needs.

Jenny: What’d you do to yourself?
Connla: Ow. Fire. Boom. Bad.

Jenny: Where’s Clio?
Connla: Ow. Ow. Bad. Fire.

Jenny: We have redheads on our ass, let’s move.

(After the numerous times this game has gone PC to PC conflict…)
GM: But JP’s gonna give me a note which is gonna give me angina.

(The GM is asked to give a description of where everyone is in the pattern room after the first bout of mayhem, including Random’s incineration.)
GM: Going closest to the door we have…
Mark: Ash…

Tara: We killed Fiona, we killed Bleys…
Tara & Amber: We killed Random.
Jeff: But that was just a side effect.

Michaeline: Well, when I cut off your head, I wanted to make sure it wasn’t really you.
Bleys (in a very small voice): Cut off my head.

Deb: It’s always fun to wake up with the husband you didn’t know you had.

Maya (to the man in her bed): This is going to sound strange but who the hell are you?

GM: This wasn’t meant to be a smut game. This is just meant to be the entre’.
Amber: If this is the entrée, then where’s dessert.
(Later, when reading this quote: The dessert was PC vs. PC fighting)

John: But everything else is changed but…
Maya: You too?
John: I’VE not changed?

Quotes courtesy of Amber DiTullio and Deb Atwood

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner
GM: Deb Atwood, Paul Weimer, Amber DiTullio

Deb Atwood as Lydia
Amber DiTullio as Tamara
Liz Trumitch as Random
Jeff Trumitch as Martin
Brenda McCartney as Colin
Tara Kunkel as Sofia
BriAnne Searles as Zenobia

Deb: You’re not the banana.
Amber: I’m not the banana. I eat the banana.
Brenda: Eat the banana gently.

(Talking about Paul’s games not going where he expects them to.)
Deb: You don’t have Amber and I playing. You have us co-direct.
Paul: Thankfully.
Deb: No no no. That’s why.

Liz: Coffee soaked cookies good for king.

Deb: Brats seem to be too much work.
Paul: It’s grilling. It’s cooking. It’s man food.

Deb: No cross-shadow blow jobs!

Deb: How long does it take you to get a two room carriage?

Amber (about Tamara): She’s very happy to be there, though she can’t keep her eyes off of Colin.
Deb: Or her hands.
Amber: Or anything else.

Liz: Why would you want to sabotage it?
Zenobia (Bri in character, but not really in game): Because I don’t want to spend the rest of my life throwing up.
Liz: He’ll just go out and get another one.
Zenobia: Why do you think all the others failed?

(Talking about the doors between Tamara’s room and Lydia’s)
Colin: Do the double doors lock from one side?
Random: If you were serious, you could go a week without fucking her.

Random: No penile implants, no drive in the skull.
Martin: You didn’t ask about penile implants.

Deb: Maybe she just has the one true mouth of which all others are but Shadow.

Zenobia: You take care of your fiancée, I’ll take care of your fiancée’s mom.
Lydia: How will you take care of me?
Zenobia: In any way you want.

(Talking about Martin’s mohawk)
Paul: Unless you use gel or something.
Amber: Yeah, you need something to keep it up.

Liz: He was drilling him pretty good.
Amber: Was he now?
Liz: He was squirming under it.

Random: I’m going to see what the mother-in-law can do on the piano.

Vialle: Oh Randy my dear?
Random: What is it Allie?

(While Random is getting it on with Lydia)
Martin: Dad, something’s come up. I need to talk to you.

Merlin: What is she doing?
Zenobia: Me

GM: Brought down by accessories.
Tara: It was an accessory in crime.

Random to Tamara: There’s this thing in the basement you need to walk.
Tamara: Is it like a tightrope?

Random: Do I know you’re a lesbian?
Zenobia: I’m not a lesbian. I’m an opportunist.

Quotes courtesy of Amber DiTullio and BriAnne Searles

Any misspellings, misattributions or any other mistakes are purely mine.