Some is, of course, my own fault. I'm incredibly overweight so the padding that helps in the winter is a detriment in the summer. I also had the dryer and the dishwasher running (my washer and dryer are kind of in the kitchen - it's the complex's doing, not mine) while I was standing in the dining room folding laundry. I've been very lax about said laundry folding, so I had piles and piles of clothes all around me, convincing me that I was sinking into the bowels of hell. I thought doing this in the evening would be better than doing it in the heat of the day. It seems to have made no real difference.
But there are parts that are beyond my purview to control. The excessive heat - 102 at it's highest, though I'm sure the heat index pushed it even higher - is making my AC work too hard. It's not really keeping up with the temperature outside. We have it set for 75 and it's usually closer to 80 in here. There's also a possibility that there's something wrong (again) with our AC.and it's just not churning air out as cold as it needs to be. I need to call the office to find out which is the case tomorrow.
Regardless of which is more to blame, I found myself actually ringing sweat from my new, shorter haircut. It's something that I've never had to do before. If I was working out, I'd usually have my hair up so it would stay out of my face. But while I was reading stories to the boys, I just felt hot and sticky and an extreme desire for them to be as far away as possible. They both wanted to snuggle, but how do you explain it to a 5 year old and a 2 year old without hurting their feelings?
Right now, they are in bed, covered (and I can't understand how they'd want to be. I suspect, however, that they've probably kicked the covers off already) and I'm lying in bed with my fan blowing over me. Ideal? No. Of course not. But with it still being 90 degrees outside, and the expectation of more of the same tomorrow (and... please, please, PLEASE let the rain that is supposed to come on Friday arrive), I'm taking any advantage of cooling down that I can get. I might bring the boys over to the pool.... or walk around Wal-Mart for several hours, enjoying their AC. Something that will keep away this heat.
Now... I'm not a religious person. Not by a long shot. I consider myself more agnostic than anything else. And, having lived through all the Y2K fears of our society collapsing, I take most predictions of doom with a grain of salt. But seeing the kind of weather we've been having, and knowing that it wasn't typical 15, 20 years ago (maybe even sooner) sometimes makes me wonder if something might be gearing up to happen anyway. And it frightens me, not as much for myself as for my boys. Because they deserve a chance to grow up and have families of their own.
I get maudlin on nights like this. Nights when it's too hot to move, I can't figure out what I want to have playing on the television and I'm not sure what I want to read next after a several-day long reading binge. I lie here and let my brain wander places that it probably shouldn't go.
What I should be doing is thinking about the updates here at Sanity's Overrated. Or falling asleep, because I know the boys will be up early. Instead, I let my brain wander. And wonder. And post the random thoughts running through my head.