27 February 2012

Still Looking for My Way

2012 was supposed to be the year that I got myself together.  I had plans - including a 101 in 1,001.  I worked accountability into it by making swaps that related to it.  I just knew that if I could start making habits, they'd become habits and I'd be on top of everything.

That lasted about 4 days. Four days until all my plans went *poof* out the window.  And I can't even say why it happened.  I don't remember anything catastrophic that day.  I just... forgot to do some of the things I wanted to do.  And then I forgot more things.  And more.  Until I got to a point where I didn't look at anything that I needed to do for over a month.  I slid behind in rating for swaps, and for getting them out.  I slid behind in doing book reviews and memes that I enjoy on my blogs.  I slid behind on housekeeping and healthy eating.

I have GOT to get back on top of things.  I want a house that I'm not embarrassed to let people come into.  I want to be able to cook dinner for my family.  I want to make a name for myself in both the Mommy Blogging and Book Blogging communities.  I want to have time when I don't have to worry about what's not getting done when I take time to do something I want to do.

Last night, I tried to work up a schedule for myself for today.  It didn't go well.  I think a large part of the problem is that I have too many things on my To Do list.  Even sitting here on the computer, I'm bouncing between three different things (rating swaps, entering for giveaways on Goodreads, and trying to write my blog post).  And while I'm doing those things, I'm thinking that I should be switching and folding laundry.  I should be cleaning the living room.  I should be checking today's tasks from FlyLady and MommaCan. I should figure out what I want to do for dinner tonight... and lunch for Pete and I.  I should I should I should...

I'm driving myself crazy with all of the things that I "should" be doing and trying really hard to push the "want" to be doing out of my mind.  And I think I figured out the problem.  Well, the two problems.

1) I work better when I have an audio book or some music playing.  Something about the silence makes it harder for me to keep my mind on one task.  It's like the auditory background helps guide my mind on it's path.  I haven't put anything on because I don't want to disturb whatever Pete's watching in the living room.  But I've got to change that.  It's time to bring back my audio books!


2) I don't have things written down.  I've always worked better actually writing what I needed to do.  It made it stick in my mind so I wouldn't get overwhelmed.  But even when I do write things down, they aren't in any particular order.  Instead, I just have a list of things that have to get done.  No order of importance.  No break down.  Just this huge list staring me in the face.  So I need to change that.  I'm thinking of downloading ToDo Task Manager to my Kindle in hopes of getting myself on track, but first and foremost, I think I need to write it down on paper.  My original plan for today was to get a bunch of computer work done - book reviews, ratings, reading my feeds.  But I think getting the groundwork set for what I want to do is much, much more important than getting things finished.  I only have a couple things that are actually due TODAY, so those can be slotted in later. I'm hoping that if I can get my system down, I can get my life back under control.

So that's my plan.  Working my way through my huge list of things that need to be done, prioritizing and setting things right.  And tomorrow... tomorrow I will start all over again.  Because that's what matters.  Getting up and starting again.

Destiny has a lot to do with it, but so do you. You have to persevere, you have to insist. - Andrea Bocelli