Almost 3 years?

Yeah, I fell away from blogging hard for awhile.  I can't really say why - life, the universe, depression, kids... you know, the usual insanity that comes with being a mom who also suffers from depression and can't seem to keep on top of things.

 But I've decided that I need to make some changes, and regular writing is going to be one of those.  Will I keep a regular schedule?  Probably not.  At least, not at first.  At first, I'm just going to be writing about the day to day stuff, trying to get my thoughts out there, and give myself a bit of an outlet.  Over the last three years, I've tried a bunch of stuff - paper journaling, bullet journaling, apps to keep track of this, that and the other.  And very little of it has worked longer than a week or two.  I can't say for sure that this will work in the long run either.  But I'm hoping that it will.  Because I've got to do something more than a sentence at a time on Facebook.  It helps, too, that there probably aren't a lot of people that even check to see if this blog is active any more, so I'm hoping it won't be as much pressure.

I'm trying to remind myself that I don't need to be super-anything.  I need to remember that sometimes, just doing one small thing is enough.  Didn't get the house cleaned?  Well, at least there's a load of laundry done that hadn't been done yesterday.  Didn't write the number of posts I wanted to?  Hey, one post is more than I had this time last year.  Didn't read as much as I wanted to?  Hey, I'm enjoying binge-watching Criminal Minds so I'm still having fun.  That's what I need to remember above all else.

Right now, I feel like writing about some of the things happening in my life.  First, my boys are... growing.  A lot.  Teddy is 13. Thir. Teen.  As in, I have a teenager.  He's as tall as I am, his voice is starting to deepen and he's not my little boy any more.  He's got the teenage attitude, but still shows me love all the time.  He's also a chip off the old block, in that he is a super-geek with a wicked sense of humor.  He's at a 7 - 12 academic magnet school now (this past year was his first) and it's a big change for him.  He's finding it a lot more difficult than he'd expected so it's been a struggle, but he isn't giving up.  And that's what means the world to me.  That and the fact that he's now in his 3rd year of chorus (two at his old middle school, one here) and he's still loving it.  If nothing else, he's gotten that from me.

Pete is 10 and last year, we found out that he's on the Autism spectrum.  It explains a lot for us.  I'm still learning a lot when it comes to him - what I can and can't expect from him, how to deal with him when he has meltdowns, accepting that he probably won't have the same amount of friends that his brother has.  But he's still very much my baby - and probably always will be.  He loves math and science, hates reading and ELA.  Next year, he starts middle school (thank you school system that believes middle school should begin in 5th grade) and he's excited because his school has a robotics program.  He still follows his brother everywhere, wanting to be a lot like him.  He's got the same sense of humor and his geekiness is slightly different than Teddy's.  He's just 100% himself, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Maybe next time, I'll talk a little more about me.  Right now, I need to get Pete and I ready for Teddy's end of year concert.  (And I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that school is over for the year a week from Thursday.)