I know that it's coming soon, and I'm torn. On the one hand, I know it's inevitable and necessary. After all, everyone goes through it, parent and child alike. But it means that he's growing away from my baby and into true boyhood.
I look at the website, wondering when the first step will arrive. They haven't announced it yet, but I know it's only a matter of time. Last year, it was the end of March. This year will probably be the same. But I don't know for sure, and that waiting makes me nervous.
I look over lists, figuring out the things that we'll need. Are any of the things we already have acceptable? Will they change the lists before he starts? Should I start looking for deals now, or should I wait until the time gets closer?
I wonder what he will experience. I know that it is no longer like it was when I was his age. It's so much more advanced and they expect so much more of him. I don't worry that he'll be left behind in this - he is much to quick for that. But I wonder what he's going to lose that I gained that first year.
It will be a scary, yet exciting, time for both of us. I still remember when I was his age and the nervous excitement that I felt. And I know now what my mother told me she had felt. But now it is me being left behind, wondering what is happening and if he is ok. I know he will be, but there will always be a part that worries.
There are only 6 months left until he begins. Six months to get him ready, to hope and pray that it will all go well, that he'll make friends and not feel left out. Six months to try to help him gain control of his emotions, because I know how difficult it can be when you can't. Six months to ready myself as much as I'm readying him. Because even though Peter will still be here, Teddy won't. He'll be starting Kindergarten.
I just hope I'll be ready.