Talk About It Tuesday - Masking

 

Today, the CDC has updated their guidelines to state that even vaccinated people should wear masks indoor.  Not long ago, even the American Academy of Pediatrics suggested children age 2 and up wear masks because a) a significant portion of children are not yet eligible to be vaccinated and b) because they want in person learning to be the educational focus this year.  And yet even with the two of these medical bodies encouraging masking, there are many in my area that don't want the district to reevaluate.  As I posted yesterday, my kids are going back to school two weeks from today.  As of right now, the school system isn't mandating masks, but a non-insignificant number of parents are petitioning the district to reinstate the mandate.  

I make the mistake of reading Facebook comments far too often.  There is still a lot of misinformation/disinformation out there, like it's harmful for anyone to breath in their CO₂ (it doesn't), if your breath/scents can come through then so can the virus (not entirely true), it's child abuse (it's not - YouTube link)  or it is government overreach making someone have to wear a mask (in a public health crisis, such as what we are in, the government is allowed to require certain precautions be put in place).  I've been trying really hard not to reply to comments, especially after, having posted a very polite reply with a comment regarding the difference between EUA and full authorization and a link to the FDA, getting tagged for spam.  But I do end up feeling so incredibly angry because it doesn't seem to matter how many times we give people factual information, they refuse to take off the blinders.

When it comes to masks, I can't understand how people can be so resistant to having our kids wear them.  Ok, they aren't the most comfortable things in the world.  I'll admit I have times when I just want to tear it off.  But sometimes we have to do the best we can to keep our kids safe, even if it makes them uncomfortable.  If I cared more about Pete's comfort than wearing what he has to, he'd never have clothes on anywhere.  Kids are also a lot more resilient, a lot better able to get used to something than a lot of parents give them credit for.  It becomes as much of a habit as wearing shoes, putting on SSA and bringing a backpack to school, as long as parents don't make a big deal out of it.

It seems like these parents are more concerned with keeping the masks off their kids' faces than the reality of the situation that the Delta Variant of COVID is more dangerous to children than the previous variants.  Add to this the fact that children under 12 cannot get the vaccine yet (and even of the ones that can be vaccinated, only approximately 25% have been vaccinated )  and there are still some adults that have been advised by their doctor that, for health reasons, they should not take the vaccine.  Not requiring masks will allow more people that can't be protected catch it, which will make it more likely that schools will have to go back to virtual learning because there either won't be enough teachers to teach or because there are too many students out because they are sick with COVID.  The sad thing is, these are the same people that will complain if we have to go back to virtual learning, not realizing that their actions in refusing to have their child wear masks or thinking that a mask mandate is needed is what is causing us to have to close schools.

All I know is that, regardless of what these others think, regardless of whether the district changes their mind, regardless of the fact that both my boys are fully vaccinated, they will be wearing masks all day, every day at school.  Because nothing is 100% and they will do their part to try to keep their fellow humans safe.  And I'm not the only one who feels this way - both of them do too.  Which is what makes me proud of them.

Masked and Vaccinated - for their fellow humans

New Year's Resolutions

Okay, so there's still a few weeks left until 2014 is a thing of the past.  And honestly, I'm not really "resolving" to do and not do these things.  It's more like goals that I'm hoping to make happen over the next year.  And some of them, I'm hoping to start before the year is over.

Yeah, I'm rambling.  I figure why not jump back into my blog in typical "Amber" style.

Anyway, it's Monday, I feel like making a list and this is the one I'm going to make.  So here we go!

1. Update my blog at least 3 times a week - I'd love to update it daily, but that's asking the impossible.  Yeah, Pete's in school now (and has been for a few months) and, in theory, that should mean I have more time on my hands.  Instead, I feel more brain frazzled than before.  So 3 times a week, and trying for more actual updates than memes that only require me to write one or two things.  That sounds plausible - at least until the end of January when I forget and my blog goes dormant once more.
2. Take more pictures - I realized how badly I'd fallen down on the job this year when I really had to scrape to find enough pictures for our yearly calendars.  (The best gift we've ever come up with, year after year.)  You'd think with a digital camera, a smart phone and a tablet with a camera that I would have had MORE pictures.  Nope.  So this year, that's gotta change.  I don't want another year of just finding pictures of the back of the kids' heads everywhere.
3. Actually review some books - I love to read.  Always have.  And I love sharing what I've read.  But for some reason, I have this mental block about actually DOING it.  I've even got my reading blog out there that should be the perfect vehicle for it.  But do I ever make time to sit down and do my reviews?  Nope.  Instead, I end up sitting at the computer playing game after game of Bingo and feeling like I'm doing nothing with my life.  So this one kinda goes with the blogging thing.
4. Make up a cleaning schedule and STICK TO IT - We moved to a new apartment at the end of October and I refuse to let it get to the state the old apartment was.  So far, I've been doing a (semi) decent job of not letting things get too bad.  But I don't ever want to get to that point either.  So I'm going to try some FLYing, some of my own stuff, remembering the use the white board to update chores that need to be done and by who.  Because I can do this!
5. Have all the boxes unpacked by summer - Ideally, I'd love to have them unpacked before the first of the year, but I'm trying to be a realist here.  I may want to get my house in perfect shape, looking great and having a place for everything, but life happens and I'm naturally indolent.  I can only push myself so far with things.  So by summer... yeah, that's possible.

There are more things that I want to resolve, I'm sure.  Less time on the computer.  More time with my family.  More exercise and more focusing on me.  But it's good to start small and add rather than overwhelm myself now and set myself up for failure.

3 Weeks and Counting

3 Weeks from today, my youngest will start kindergarten. And I'm not sure I'm ready.

It's not for the reasons you'd think.  It's not the thought of him growing up, or being away from me all day.  I'm used to that from his Parents' Day Out program.  Granted, this is 5 days a week instead of 2, but I know that the consistency of being in a 5 day a week routine is going to be nothing but good for him.  Instead, I'm worried because... well, it's Pete.  And he's a very different kid than Teddy, with a bunch of different issues.

It started with behavior problems and other concerns in his PDO program.  He was combative with his teachers, he yelled and screamed, didn't learn his letters, couldn't hold a pencil right.  We thought it was mostly behavior rather than any kind of developmental delay, so we looked into the Regional Intervention Program.  It was highly recommended by both educators and other parents that I knew.  And it WAS good for me.  It gave me a lot more tools to deal with Pete when he got out of control.  And Pete did learn a few things there.  But by the time we "graduated", he was still having as many problems as he'd had before we started.  So I wasn't sure where to go next.

I met with his pediatrician, and she had expressed some concerns about his fine motor skills and suggested we go to Pediatric Rehab.  Ok, I figured.  Let's see what we can do there.  It took a couple months before they could see us and, as they were testing him, we found out that most of his problems weren't completely from stubbornness or bad parenting, but because he actually had something wrong with him - Sensory Processing Disorder. Basically, he needed sensation.  He wasn't getting it the same way most of us do, not feeling things as strongly (physically) or able to feel comfortable in the space around him.  So he pushed the limits to try to create the sensations he was craving.  Sitting still in a chair was tough on him.  He needed to wiggle and move because his body was telling him that's what had to happen.  He ran into walls at full speed so he could figure out where the boundaries were. He made loud noises and acted silly because that's what he felt he needed to do.  So what we needed to do was find a way to get him those things without being disruptive.  So we started Occupational Therapy with him once a week, both for the SPD and because his fine motor skills weren't where they should be at 5 1/2.

They've given me some great ideas for helping him deal with SPD.  Ways to help him get out the need to be active without being disruptive.  One of the things I do with him is have a "Push War".  He pushes against my hands as hard as he can, trying to push them back to my chest.  After we do it a couple of times, he's able to calm down a little.  Also, I try to give him "heavy work", like helping push the (full) laundry basket across the floor, or having to run to the dining room and bring me back one thing after another.  These little things are helping.

What worries me, though, is what will happen when school starts.  I'm trying to get an IEP or a 504 Plan for him so if he needs help with various things, we'll already have a plan in place for him to get that help.  Today, after many phone calls that weren't returned, I stopped by the school to talk with someone about it.  I need a diagnosis from a doctor - what they found at rehab just won't cut it.  And then, with the diagnosis, I need to bring it to the school and get the paperwork started. Then they'll have a meeting to discuss it, and the school psychologist will meet with Pete to test him again.  Only after all of that happens will be (hopefully) get something in place for him.  So I have an appointment with his pediatrician next Tuesday to see what I need to do to get a doctor's diagnosis.  I'm afraid that I'm going to have to go somewhere else to get him diagnosed and who knows how long that wait will be.  I'm worried that it will be October or December by the time we can finally get something in place for him, and by then, he'll be labeled a "problem child".

The one thing going for me is that I know his teacher this year.  It's the same teacher that Teddy had in kindergarten.  I have a good rapport with her, and her teaching style is one that Pete responds to positively.  (It's very similar to the style his current teacher at PDO has, which has worked wonders for him over this last year.)  But for all that I know she'll be willing to work with me on some things, I also know that her hands will be tied when it comes to how much leeway she can give him for things.  She will (I hope) understand that he's not meaning to be a problem.  And I know she'll get in touch with me if there are problems.  But the fear that he'll not get what he needs soon enough is one that won't leave me.

So now I wait, hope and pray.  Wait for school to start and see if he'll be ok.  Hope that we can get everything we need for him to succeed at school before it starts.  And pray that he'll be able to thrive because he's got who and what he needs behind him.

Graduation Day from PDO

Grrrr....

Some kind of bug has decided that I'm a great new home.  Fever, sore throat, chills... I'm doing the absolute minimum today (much like yesterday) and will try to catch up on everything else over the weekend.  At least I'll have family help for the housework stuff then.

I promise, I'm not disappearing from the blogosphere again.  I'm just feel blech.

No breaks here! - and other updates

Well, I had my trip to the ER yesterday.  Interestingly, the longest wait I had was to be seen by triage.  It was a very busy night there and it took triage over an hour to finally bring me back and get my info.  But once they did, things went fairly quickly.  We'd barely gotten back to the waiting room when the doctor came out to take off my shoe and take a look at my ankle.  With the amount of swelling I had, they were glad that I'd had the forethought to leave my shoe on.  It helped keep the swelling down some.  The doctor said there was definitely something wrong, at the very least a bad sprain, so he wanted to get it X-rayed.  They were going to try to fast-track me through the clinic instead of having to wait to be seen in the actual ER.

Within a few minutes, I had someone come to wheel me to X-Ray.  The X-Ray was one of the most painful parts because of how I needed to move my ankle so they could get the pictures they needed.  And, of course, it didn't want to move the way they needed it to without large amounts of pain.  But I've been through one labor and severe back spasms that felt like electrocution, the pain from this was something I could handle.

As soon as we got back to the ER, someone was there to wheel me back to be seen.  Off we went to the clinic with some awesome nurses that I would have loved to have had on my floor if I'd been staying the night.  Great sense of humor and really on top of things.  We had the nurse come in, followed quickly by the doctor (who was also fantastic - heck, everyone I dealt with there was fantastic).  He took a look at my x-rays and saw what he thought was an old break but wanted the radiation tech to look it over.  The radiation tech concurred, so the diagnosis was bad sprain.  Within 30 minutes, I had an air cast boot, a pair of crutches and a prescription for Lortab.  (Along with a Lortab in my system - I felt so much better!)  We were out of the hospital by 6:30, made phone calls to family, grabbed some dinner and picked up the kids.  All in all, it could have gone much worse.

Being immobilized like this is both frustrating and freeing.  On the one hand, I can't even get upstairs so I'm sleeping on the pullout couch downstairs.  It's not the most comfortable place to sleep.  I'd planned today to clean out the linen closet and start going through and organizing all my books.  Both are upstairs (well, a majority of my books are).  The boot is uncomfortable and I'm abysmal at walking with crutches.

On the other hand, it means that I'm being forced to read (right now, I'm reading Where'd You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple) and get some online things done that I've been putting off (like updating my blog).  It also means that I'll be able to do the advent calendar activities that I've been putting off doing with the kids because I've been busy trying to get things done in the house.

Our advent calendar is working out pretty good.  I don't have the money this year to buy lots and lots of gifts to put in it and neither of my kids needs tons of candy.  So I decided to come up with a list of activities to do.  Actually, I came up with two lists - one of activities like crafts, cookie baking and decorating the tree, and the other of more giving things, like calling family members and helping out when you can.  This is what I've come up with (though not in the order we have it on the calendar):

Advent Activity Ideas

1. Write letter to Santa
2. Make sugar cookies
3. Make chocolate chip cookies
4. Make peanut butter cookies
5. Make gingerbread men
6. Decorate tree
7. Drive to look at Christmas lights
8. Watch Christmas movie with hot chocolate and popcorn
9. Make snowglobes
10. Make Christmas Ornaments (Salt dough)
11. Make Shrink-a-doodle ornaments
12. Make popsicle stick ornaments
13. Read a Christmas story
14. Make Christmas gifts for Teachers
15. Write Christmas cards for family and friends
16. Make Apple Clove Ornaments
17. Shop for a gift for Mommy
18. Shop for a gift for Daddy
19. Listen to holiday music
20. Wrap presents
21. Cut out paper snowflakes and hang them in the windows
22. Visit Santa at Bass Pro Shop
23. Make a special holiday meal with one thing each of us enjoys
24. Put out stockings and read 'Twas the Night Before Christmas

Advent Giving and Thankfulness Ideas

1. Tell everyone in the family something you like about them.
2. Do something nice for a stranger
3. Donate a toy to someone less fortunate
4. Donate a book to someone less fortunate
5. Talk about what Christmas means to you
6. Read the story of Jesus' birth
7. Make a list of 10 things you are thankful for
8. Call Nonni and Pop to tell them you love them
9. Call Grandma and Grandpa to tell them you love them
10. Call Poppy to tell him you love him
11. Call Aunt Robin, Uncle Simo and Layla to tell them you love them.
12. Call Aunt Deni, Uncle Mike, Gabe and Mikayla to tell them you love them.
13. Do something nice for a family member.
14. Make a video to wish everyone a Merry Christmas.
15. Give out free hugs to someone
16. Donate extra change to the Salvation Army bell ringer
17. Suggest something fun to do the weekend after Christmas
18. Suggest a tradition you'd like to add to our family holidays
19. Help someone with their chores.
20. Make up a story about Christmas together
21. Donate food to Second Harvest
22. Buy something from the Angel Tree for someone in need
23. Tell one thing you want to do better in 2013
24. Say Thank You to someone you don't usually thank

Our advent calendar with notes waiting for each day 's activities

The crossed out ones are the ones we've finished.  The italics are the ones that we were supposed to do but haven't yet.  Technically, the snowflakes are today's activity, but we should be able to do those without too much trouble, along with the other crafts that we haven't finished yet.

The ornaments that we did do have come out pretty good.  The kids loves doing the Salt Dough ornaments (it's another one I've found on Pintrest) and they had a lot of fun using the cookie cutters to cut them out.  This is what we came up with:

Our Salt Dough ornaments

We still have to paint them (also happening tonight) and put mod podge over them so we'll be able to keep them for years to come.  Teddy had so much fun with it that he made making new ornaments every year as the family tradition he wants to adopt.

All in all, I'm feeling pretty good about things.  Yeah, my leg hurts horribly, but it could have been broken, which would have been worse.  But my house is clean, I've got plenty of books to read and I've got lots of fun things to do with the boys.  What else could I ask for?

One step forward, two hobbles back

Things had been going so great.  I was in a zone where cleaning was coming along wonderfully.  Downstairs looked great, the only thing left to do was vacuum.  I'd even gotten a little decorating done outside for Christmas - the wreath on the door and the net lights over the bushes outside our window.  The lights I'd put above the door weren't working, but I could figure that out later.  I was going to bring out the bag of garbage from upstairs, the garbage that I'd used for cleaning downstairs and the garbage from the kitchen can out before heading out to pick Peter up from PDO and I'd feel really accomplished today.

On my way downstairs with the bag of trash, however, my ankle decided that it didn't like the way I was walking.  It turned under me and I heard a snap.  Then I tumbled, painfully, down the stairs to smack my head on a bin of books that were going to need to go to Goodwill and/or the library.  "Please, no."  I prayed, blinking the stars out of my eyes.  I couldn't afford a broken ankle.  I moved to my knees, then tried putting weight on my right foot.  It was holding, though it hurt like hell.  Maybe it wasn't broken.  Maybe it was just a bad sprain.  Maybe it just needed to be walked out.  Maybe...

As I made each step, I hoped and prayed that it would feel better.  Instead, it felt worse.  Tears welled up in my eyes.  This was going to suck.  And I had no choice but to drive on it.  My husband is 30 to 45 minutes away from Pete's PDO and the overage rates for being that late would be far more than we could afford.  So drive I would.

I called my husband as I drove, carefully trying to put as little pressure on my ankle as I had to press down the gas and the break while also trying to ignore the pain shooting up my leg.  I asked him to come home.  Driving 5 minutes to PDO and back I could do.  30 minutes to the ER, I wasn't so sure about.  Then I called PDO, and asked the director if she could bring Pete to the van for me.  Walking down the hill they have there was more than I thought I could do.

Once I got home, I made two more calls - Teddy's school, asking that they have him waiting in the office for Rich to pick him up, and my doctor's office asking if I should go to the ER or to acute care.  I shouldn't have bothered with the second - as I suspected, she told me, "ER!  We wouldn't be able to set it here if it's broken.  And from what you describe, it sounds like it's broken."

So now I'm waiting for Rich and Teddy to get home so we can drop the kids off at my friend's house then head to the ER and wait to find out how bad is bad.  I'm hoping for a bad sprain, but expecting a break.  And I keep thinking two things:  "Why is the end of 2012 having to suck so badly?" and "At least my house is clean... ish."

Fixing the Meds and Other Thoughts

This morning, I had my first appointment with my psychiatrist.  It was tough.  Because of the doctor's policies, I couldn't get in any later than 8 am, which meant there was a lot of frustration trying to figure out how to get Teddy to school on time and not be late for my own appointment.  But that worked out so the whole drive I was doing my anxiety things - what if the doctor isn't personable?  What if he's leaving and I need to get another one again?  What if he can't or won't help me?  What if what if what if?  I was very jittery for quite some time, even though I knew that I really didn't have anything to be anxious about.  After all, that's what they're there for, right?

I stayed jittery through about half the appointment time, my nervous fingers (it's almost like I'm trying to type when I get nervous, those are the moves that my fingers make) slowing as I got more comfortable.  Instead of talking to the doctor at first, I talked to one of the residents.  It was basically an intake meeting, so there was a lot of history that we were talking about which she recapped when the doctor came in a little while later.  Unfortunately, all they do is a med-check on me rather than any talk therapy (which, in large part, is what I need).  Still, I really liked the resident and she did help me feel a lot more at ease while we talked.  She and my attending are trying to get me set up for talk therapy with one of the therapists they have in the clinic.  I just need to wait to hear back from them when I'll have that appointment.  I'm trying to tamp down my natural panic when it comes to having to deal with more people, but it's hard.

One thing my psychiatrist did do for me, however, was up my dosage of zoloft.  I'm currently on the lowest dose and it hasn't been doing as much more me as I need it to.  So we're going to take it slow, start upping my dosage to 50 mg per night, then see how it goes.  I've got another appointment in a month to see how that's doing.  I also have my appointment with my PCP in a little more than a week, so I'll be able to talk to her about some of this too.  Wish me luck.

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We had a great Thanksgiving this year, spending it with friends instead of family.  Usually, we spend Thanksgiving with my Dad, since he's only an hour away from us.  But this year, he went to Florida to visit with my step-brother and his family, which meant Rich, the kids and I were going to have to figure out what else to do.  In stepped my friend Becca.  They were also not heading to her family for the holidays because it  was the year that all the family spent with in-laws.  They've had their house under a year and she's been wanting to cook a big dinner there for awhile.  So we were invited over there.  Rich helped with some of the cooking and I did all the dessert baking before hand.  The day was filled with lots of fun and games, and far more yummy food than we needed.  For the most part, the kids even behaved!  Personally, I think it was a huge success and am hoping that we'll be able to share more holidays together in the future.  (I'd invite them here for dinner, but Lewis is highly allergic to cats and it wouldn't do well for him to collapse at the dinner table.)

---

I'm still trying to figure out Christmas for this year.  Nothing is jumping out at me as must buys for the boys, though they are convinced that everything they see on TV is something they've just GOT to have!  Sadly, with the money crunch we've been having, a lot of their musts are things just out of my price range.  I do have a few ideas - a few new InnoTab games for Pete, a few DS games for Teddy, but mostly I'm just thinking that they'll be getting things that I can find on the cheap.

Though, to be honest, they don't need anything more.  They've got so many toys that I don't think they even know half of what they have.  The same goes for books and clothes.  I'm trying to get rid of our excess, but I know the holidays are going to be bringing it back in again.  I'm hoping, though, that there will be more output and less input.  But only time (and the holidays) will tell.

I know that I do want to try to do other, non-costly things with them during the holidays.  I've got a fabric advent calendar and I was thinking of putting slips of paper in them with things to do each day.  Things like making our own ornaments, getting an extra story at bedtime, putting up the Christmas tree, going out to look at Christmas lights.... that kind of thing. I may talk with them tonight and see if I can get some ideas from them of things we can add to our advent list.

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In preparation of the holidays, I'm finally getting around to a purge.  Something inside me is finally clicking to help me get done the things I want to.  It's baby steps - it always is.  But I'm feeling like I'm getting back on the right track.  This week, I've been working on my bedroom.  We've had a ton of things stacked and stored in our closets, to the point that I wasn't sure what was what any more.  So I got Rich to help me with the things in our walk-in closet and then worked on the rest for the last couple of days.

What is amazing to me is how freeing it is to get rid of some of these things I've been holding on to.  Clothes that I might someday get back into or that I'd gotten from someone so, of course, I can't get rid of it.  Knicknacks that I don't have the room to display and that don't have a strong meaning for me any longer.  Toys that the boys never play with and books that I never read.  So far, I've had 6 boxes and a couple bags worth of stuff to bring to Goodwill.  And that's just with the two closets in my room (though, to be fair, I'd bagged up toys to go quite some time ago and they sat in the bottom of my closet and did nothing for at least a year, so those went as well).

I also found things that I could pass on to the boys.  For being in my mom's wedding to my step-dad, Teddy had gotten a silver piggy bank.  Pete was too young for one at the time, but over the last few months, he's really been admiring Teddy's.  So yesterday when I was going through the bin of things that used to be on my dresser (and were going back there so Rich couldn't use the top of my dresser to store his clothes in any longer), I came across my old Baby Sinclair Bank.  It had traveled with me from home to college, to my first apartment and later apartments, holding my change and decorating my dresser.  And as I pulled it out of the bin, I realized that I didn't need it any longer, but it would be perfect for Pete.  He's a huge dinosaur fan (though I haven't shown him the Dinosaurs television show yet) and the bank is plastic so he's not likely to break it.  And he was happy to get it.  As soon as Teddy came in the house from school, he showed it off.  "Look what Mommy gave me, Teddy!  I got a dinosaur bank!"  There's nothing like happy kids.

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For all that the anxiety level has been high - money worries, trying to keep on top of the apartment's cleanliness and the laundry, general anxiety and depression - I'm actually pretty happy.  Life is heading in the right direction for me, mostly.  I've got two kids who love to be with me, I'm getting to share things with them (like the bank for Pete or reading The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe to Teddy), and they're sharing their imaginations with me.  I've got a husband that works his ass off to make sure we have a roof over our head and food on the table, and who is there for me every single day no matter what.  I've got friends and loved ones and slowly - very slowly - I'm starting to bring back some of the things that I enjoy doing like reading and writing.  I'm taking small steps with everything, but I'm getting there.  And that is a good thing.

Friday Fragments

This is the first time I'm participating in this wonderful meme at half-past kissin' time.  (Click on the picture and you'll be taken to her site.)  I've got a lot of fragments running through my mind right now, so this is the perfect time for it.

• When I got out of my funk and started checking out my blog again late yesterday (yep, the mood from Wednesday kinda bubbled over into yesterday too), I found a wonderful surprise.  The wonderful people who host Thirsty for Comments Thursdays (and that would be Acting Balanced, Silver Faeries and Dragonflies, Thoughts 'n Such, Crazed Mama and Touristic) honored me my making Sanity's Overrated the featured blog for the day/week.  They even linked me up in the top link-up spot.  Thank you, guys.  You really helped turn my mood around with that!
  
• Yesterday, we got news that relieved a little of my stress.  University of Phoenix offered my husband another class.  He's been working for them as a second job for the last couple of years.  It's been pretty steady work, giving him a 5 week class or two to teach pretty close to constantly.  But for some reason, the last couple months have dried up.  He had one class through September, but nothing new seemed to be on the horizon.  Now it is.  And today, he got another class to start around the end of the time of the one from yesterday.  It's taking a HUGE weight off my mind.
• I had a DUH moment the other day.  I was coming into the living room where the boys were watching the pilot episode of Planet Sheen. There was a seen where Sheen was introducing the king of the planet he crash-landed on to the monkey (who is far more intelligent than Sheen, but then, who isn't?) that had crashed there many years before.  He said something like, "This is Nesmith.  He's a monkey, but we call him an ape."  And it was only then that I put together those two facts along with the fact that Nesmith wore a wool hat to realize the homage that was being paid (for those that may not catch it either, Mike Nesmith was a member of The Monkees and he wore a signature wool hat in the show).  And I could have slapped myself for it.  I've been a big fan of the Monkees since the mid-80s when they did their first reunion tour, and I missed this completely obvious reference.  And I don't have the excuse of it being the first time I watched the show.  No.  I've seen, in part or in whole, at least a dozen episodes where the info was right in front of my face.  Yeah.  Sometimes I'm a little slow.
• I took a big step last Sunday and played a few games of Pokemon with people that were NOT in my family.  It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be.  I may do the same on Sunday... or I may shop at Goodwill for Halloween Costumes.
• Speaking of Halloween, I wish my boys would make up their minds.  First Teddy wanted to be the Hulk.  Now he wants to be Ash from Pokemon.  I'm actually ok with him being Ash because I've got a lot of the things for that already.  Though now he's talking about being one of the gym leaders.  Pete keeps bouncing between Pikachu (which would be easiest because, unlike Teddy, he still fits in last year's costume), Panpour and Tepig. I told them they needs to make up their minds this weekend.  I'm going to Goodwill to look for things to make their costumes on Sunday.
• I'm catching another cold.  Or maybe the same one wasn't as dormant as I thought.  I'd gotten over the scratchy throat, the stuffy nose and the cough sometime in the middle of me getting the flu.  But last night, the stuffy nose came back and this morning, the scratchy throat is.  Time to start pounding the zinc!
• I'm so grateful that the boys have found a love for Pokemon.  While it does often get tiring to hear about Pokemon constantly, they've found a great community in our local league, with everyone being supportive of everyone else.  And they're also learning the right way to act when a game is over, with a handshake and a "good game".  It amazes me when I hear the two of them playing a game in the other room and then, without prompting, I heard, "Good game."  And not just from Teddy, but Peter too.  Now if I can get them to work that attitude into the rest of their lives....
• I'm thinking of starting a weekly meme.  Just a fun little thing to do and, hopefully, get others to join in the fun.  I was going to start it today (it will be called, tentatively "Friday Favorites") but I haven't had a chance to build a button for people to snag for the hopping.  So I'm hoping next week will be a little calmer, both in terms of stress levels and things I need to do.  But watch this space for a new meme!
• Finally, I had to buy a webcam today for something Rich needed it for,  It's the first one I've had in... probably 5 years or so.  It's so much smaller than I'm used to!  But I am hoping that, having it hooked up to the desktop, I may be able to start doing some vlogging once in awhile too.

Thanks for stopping by and reading the fragments of my mind.  If you're interested in more fragments, head on over!

My Shoulders Aren't That Big

There have been so many things going on in my family, health-wise, which is alternately making me feel stressed and overwhelmed and guilty.

First, there's the situation with my Dad.  He had his fifth (I believe) back surgery on April 25th.  He was supposed to have a very long period of time in the hospital, which was to include his rehab time.  His doctor, before he went in for the surgery, said that he'd be in the hospital at least a month.  So we were all pretty surprised when we found out that he was slated to come home on May 12th.  We questioned the doctors and the rehab folks, but they all said that he was ready.  But he wasn't.

I drove him home that afternoon (after hours of waiting for him to be released because the left hand didn't know what the right hand was doing) and he was in a lot of pain.  I had to leave fairly quickly - Dad lives about 75 minutes away from me and I had responsibilities at home.  My sister-in-law and her mom (who rents a room from my Dad) helped get him settled and we expected things to go fairly well.  Unfortunately, I got a call the next evening asking me to come out for the weekend.  Dad was falling again.  And he was very confused and hallucinating.  It was pretty bad.  My sister-in-law had back surgery the same day as my Dad, so she was out of the running to be able to help him out.  The call came as we were on our way home from dinner celebrating Teddy's graduation, so I pretty much packed a bag and headed out.

A weekend ended up being almost a month.  Dad wasn't getting any better and he really couldn't be left alone.  Rich came up with the boys on Sunday (since there was no one at home that could watch them while he was at work) and the boys and I set up camp at Dad's for almost a month.  We found out that some of his problem was that he'd been given too weak of pain meds.  We went to see the back doctor the first week I was there and he prescribed something stronger.  It seemed to help a lot.  At least, the hallucinations are gone.

He'd been getting a bit better while I was there.  He was still confused sometimes, but I was forcing him to get out of bed regularly.  I stood there, sometimes for half an hour, reminding him that he had to get up.  I pushed him to do as much for himself as he could.  I cajoled him into doing the exercises he needed to do to get feeling better.  And for awhile, it seemed to be working.

Then, the weekend before I was supposed to leave, the confusion started getting worse again.  He started falling again.  And, as much as I wanted to be able to help more, I had to leave to come home.  The boys were starting PDO on June 8th and I wasn't going to have them miss that.  Plus, Rich had some things coming up that I needed to be home for (more on that in a little bit).  And, I'll admit it.  I missed my own bed and being able to see my husband every night.  Selfish?  Maybe.  But I wanted to be home.

I haven't been home for a week, and Dad's sliding again.  My sister-in-law (who, along with my brother, nieces and nephews, moved in to help out) has called me several times this week about Dad.  He's getting more confused.  He's not eating.  He's not refusing to get out of bed.  He's not drinking or urinating nearly enough.  And his falls are getting more frequent.  She's keeping me in the loop, in part because he's my Dad, and in part because she wants to know how I can help.

Tonight, she called to let me know that she'll be calling his primary care doctor tomorrow.  With all the things happening with Dad, I think it's a good idea.  The problem is, I'm the only one that can drive him.  My sister-in-law is still healing, my brother has medical issues that keep him from driving, and my sister-in-law's mom doesn't have her TN license yet.  So I need to drive 75 minutes to pick him up, bring him back to Nashville for his appointments, drive him back home, then 75 minutes back to my house.  I'm going to be with Dad, taking him back and forth to doctor's appointments all day on Thursday.  And I hope this is when they can fit in an appointment with his PCP.  Because I don't know if I can do it otherwise.  This week is going to be hell when it comes to scheduling.  Here's a brief look:

Monday: Storytime, 10:30 am
              Vacation Bible School for Teddy, 5:30pm to 8:30pm
Tuesday: Eye doctor's appointment for Teddy, 8:45am
               Vacation Bible School for Teddy, 5:30pm to 8:30pm
Wednesday: PDO for Teddy & Peter, 9am to 2pm
                Therapy appointment for me, 1pm
                Vacation Bible School for Teddy, 5:30pm to 8:30pm
Thursday: Doctor's appointment for Dad, 10:30am
                Doctor's appointment for Dad, 1pm
                Vacation Bible School for Teddy, 5:30pm to 8:30pm
Friday: PDO for Teddy & Peter, 9am to 2pm
           Vacation Bible School for Teddy, 5:30pm to 8:30pm

Rich doesn't have classes to teach or any tutoring this week, but he also doesn't get home until just about 5:30.  And we've got a lot of cleaning to do because my mother-in-law is coming down from NJ on Sunday.  Saturday, we're going out to my Dad's for a combination birthday party for Rich and my sister-in-law's mom, plus Father's Day.  So that'll be busy there.  I've got a lot on my plate this upcoming week and I'm not 100% sure how I'm going to fit everything in.

Add on top of all of this the things going on with Rich medically.

Back in April, Rich went in for a routine colonoscopy.  He had a family history of colon cancer, so they started checking him early, every 5 years.  They found a polyp this time around, but the doctor said it didn't look cancerous to him.  He was wrong.  It was cancerous and there was no healthy cells between the cancer and the end of the polyp.  So they couldn't be sure they removed it all.

This brought us to a surgeon.  He basically told us we had three options: we could do nothing and hope that they'd gotten it all; we could remove a portion of the colon around where the polyp was found; or we could remove the whole colon.  He was pushing for a full removal, because he's seen far too many patients that have come back in a year only to have more cancer further into the colon, and it be far more aggressive.  But it's not an option Rich feels comfortable with.  His family history leads us to believe that, even if the cancer returns, it won't be aggressive.  I'm hoping he's right.

We also found out that Rich has a genetic anomaly that makes gastrointestinal cancers much more likely.  Because of this, we also needed to schedule an upper GI scope as well.  There is the possibility of him having cancer there as well.  He had that done on Friday.  The doctor again found a polyp (this one much, MUCH smaller than the last and in the stomach) and is again sure that it's not cancer.  But it's being biopsied just in case.

The colon surgery is scheduled for a week from Tuesday, June 21st.  They'll be doing the surgery laproscopically, but he'll still be in the hospital for a few days.  Then he'll be home anywhere from a couple weeks to a month in recovery.  He's got 2 weeks of sick and vacation pay left, and short term disability doesn't kick in until after 30 days.  We have a bit in savings, and we're hoping that will help get us through.  But this is why my MIL is coming down.  She's going to help keep an eye on the kids, help keep things running at home while I'm trying to be with Rich as much as possible during his hospital stay.  My nephew will be coming down to help the first week of July - the week that the boys have off of PDO.  I'm definitely going to have some help with this.

But I'm still worried.  Because what if my Dad needs me?  How can I decide between my husband and my father - not that either of them would ask me to make that choice, but with the situation happening with both of them, I can see something coming up where I need to be with both of them at the same time.  And I'm going to end up feeling like shit because I can't be there for both of them.

So... yeah.  This is what's been weighing on my mind lately.  I feel like I need to be Superwoman, but I'm woefully unprepared for the part.  I know that I'll make it through all the health issues in my family, most likely with my sanity intact.  But right now, I'm just feeling a bit strained.

It's a Wash

At least, that's the way I'm feeling about writing my Feel Good Friday, Swap-Bot Saturday, Silent Sunday and (possibly) Memories Monday posts.  I just don't have the mental energy for it right now.  To be honest, I think I'm coming down with the flu.  Aches everywhere, hot then cold, general ick.  Just what I need right now.  Joy.

I am happy with how my last three A to Z Challenge posts came out, though.  I kind of put myself on autopilot and went from there.  But they were heartfelt posts, and that's some of the most important parts of writing for me.

I get my husband on Monday nights again!  The student that he'd been tutoring on Mondays is doing pretty well on his own, so the family has decided to discontinue tutoring.  While it will be a little less of a check coming from his tutoring company, making the student able to "get" their subject is a great thing.  And I get a chance to have him home those evenings - at least for now.  Probably through the summer.  And Rich has been picking up extra tutoring for some of his students because of SATs and finals looming in the future. Plus he's been getting offered regular classes at University of Phoenix.  All pluses for the income, since there hasn't been much out there for me.

I think I'm going to spend the afternoon on the couch, reading.  It's about the level of energy I have at the moment.  And maybe I'll start that now...

Just a general update for now

I'm punting the various posts that I'd planned to update tonight to tomorrow.  A part of me wants to do the A to Z challenge posts, my Feel Good Friday, Swap-Bot Saturday and Silent Sunday, and a bunch of other posts as well.  But then there's the other part of me that's thinking that I'll be a bit more focused tomorrow.  I'm kind of brain dead tonight, plus I'm on the Netbook.  I've gotten used to using the larger screen on the desktop so having so much less space on the Netbook screen makes it harder for me to do a bunch of the things that I want to.  Better to post when I'm in the headspace for it, or so I think.

I'm still doing updates for the blog.  I'm probably going to fiddle with the logo a bit more, since my wonderful friend Kerri pointed out that the colors don't work too well for those with color blindness.  But I don't mind because I've enjoyed fiddling with it.  I think I've gotten everyone updated in my blogroll, but who knows.  I'm also thinking of adding a few more bibs and bobs to the right, though I haven't had a chance to really look through the Blogger widget list yet.  Tomorrow, I hope, I'll be putting a bunch of the blog buttons and links for the weekly blogging prompts and memes into my Challenges Page.  I'm also thinking of putting an About Me page up there as well.  Blogging, like life, is a constant change to keep from getting boring.

This has probably been one of the busiest weekends I've had in a long time.  Yesterday was all the various reading related things and today has been a bunch of out and about things.  I dropped Rich and the boys off at church and ran to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things (which turned into a lot of things).  I needed to get some stencils for one of my swaps, and I needed to get a gift for a friend's son who had a birthday today.   While I was there, I picked up a card for a swap that I'm in, some stickers that I figured I'd find some use for, some clothes for the boys and exercise pants for me, shorts and a shirt for Rich and two new pair of sandals, one for each of the boys.  The problem with them growing so quickly is that they can't rewear anything from last year.  And all the hand-me-downs from Teddy are starting at size 2T because I'd given my 18 month stuff up to friends in need.  Pete may get into 2T and 24 month stuff by summer, but right now he's in 18 month.  And it's been HOT out - yesterday and today were in the 90s.  Tomorrow's supposed to be in the 70s, but it's supposed to rain.  The rest of the week is supposed to be cooler.  But tonight... the low is supposed to be 69.  Thank heavens for AC!

After I picked Rich and the boys up from church (and felt like a complete and utter slob because I was in my work-out clothes), we went over to walk at Mill Creek-Blue Hole Road with the SparkNashville group to walk.  Teddy was up near the front with our friend and leader Camille.  She loves walking with him because he has a 5 year old's energy and he takes off.  He loves walking with her because she's just awesome.  Rich and Pete hung out at the playground while I walked around with Dawn and her beautiful dogs.  Bonny, the other member of the group that shows up at the walks with us, leaves us all in the dust.  Someday, I'm hoping to keep up with her!  I actually walked about 2 miles today and I was BEAT when I finished.  I think it's the longest I've walked since I'd gotten back into exercising.  So I'm not really surprised that I was beat.  Add the heat into that, and I'm surprised I made it that far!  It was good to see everyone, though.  I'm hoping to see them again next week at the next Mayor's Walk.  We'll see how that goes.

We stopped at Olive Garden for lunch and, as per usual, my boys charmed the pants off of the waitstaff.  That's my boys.  One of the guys said about Pete that he's just in love with him. I can't blame him!  The only problem with going to Olive Garden was me trying to walk.  I don't know what I did to my left ankle, but it's hurting.  I was hoping some Advil and rest would help it after I got home, but no such luck.  I came back downstairs after an afternoon nap and had a hard time getting downstairs.  I probably wouldn't have tried to come down if Rich had been home - he had a tutoring job at 5 - but leaving the boys alone downstairs by themselves for a couple hours would have been a major recipe for disaster.

Now that Rich is home and the kids are in bed, I'm sitting in our comfy white chair that's in direct line of the AC register.  Life is good.  So I'm enjoying relaxing, watching Terry Fator (which is one of Teddy's all time favorite DVDs - which reminds me, I need to buy him Winston the Impersonating Turtle for Christmas.  I think he'll be ecstatic!)

I'm trying to decide what to read tonight.  I've got my list of books here that I picked up at the book sale yesterday.  These will get added to my To Read pile eventually.  The pile just keeps getting bigger and bigger...

Anyway, here are the books that I picked up.  I haven't read a lot of them before, so if anyone knows things about them and wants to give me a heads up on their thoughts of them, feel free.




Some of these are old favorites -I've listened to Spell of the Highlander and Acheron, I've read Fractured, The Thirteen Problems and Callahan's Legacy and Our Town is probably my favorite non-musical theatrical production.  Those were wonderful finds. I've heard good things about Lyndsay Sands and the Discworld series, so I figured I couldn't go too far wrong with either of those.  I've read Weis and Hickman before, so I figured I'd probably enjoy Into the Labyrinth.  The Bill Harley CD I got mostly for the boys.  They've been listening to his Town Around the Bend at bedtime (an awesome CD of lullabies they ask for nightly), so I figured this would work well for them.  But some of these others are completely new to me.  I look forward to diving into them!

And now, after I've done lots of chitter chat about everything, I'm thinking bed will be good again.  Wish I had my camera on me, though.  My cat, Lemon, is lying in the middle of the floor, spread out on his back, paws pushed out in four different directions.  He looks incredibly comfy and cute.  I do love my fur baby!

Good night, wonderful readers!  Have a wonderful night's sleep and a great Monday morning!

Things on my mind, and other minutiae

This week has been a bit of a maddening one.  It started with finding out that Teddy had strep and needing to miss Story Time because of it on Monday.  Then Rich getting sick on Monday and being home for three days.  Granted, I love having my husband home, but not when he's sick.  He's feeling better tonight and managed to make it to his night job, teaching at the University of Phoenix.  But he's still not 100%.  He think's he'll be ok to go in to work tomorrow.  If not, he's going to need to make a stop at his doctor's office.  I'm still praying that it doesn't happen.

Yesterday, I managed to get outside into the beautiful weather for awhile.  The kids were being whirlwinds and Rich needed sleep, so I grabbed my Swap-Bag and Folder, pushed the kids out the door and went to Kids Country over at Two Rivers Park.  It's one of the boys' favorite parks and they beg to go there all the time.  So they were glad to be there and I was glad to get out of the house.  I'm hoping the weather is nice enough to go to one of the other parks tomorrow as well (since today, the weather SUCKED!)  There was another little boy there, about Pete's age, and both boys had a great time playing with him.  While they were playing, I was working on my "10 Things I Love About Any Child(ren)" swap.  I've got the first one written up and just need to copy it to the second letter, then they'll be ready to go in the mail as soon as partners are assigned.  I worked on one of my journal swaps as well.  I tried getting up and taking a few pictures of the kids, but I think the camera is on it's way to being replaced.  I got a couple good pictures, then it refused to stay on for me.  Every time I'd turn it on, it would shut off.  Grrrr!  Replacement is in the cards.  (And anyone with a good suggestion for a replacement, please let me know?  It's been about 4 years since we last bought one.)  But I felt productive, and that's a major plus.

Today, I had a few errands to run after dropping the kids off at PDO.  I had to run over to the boys' pediatrician so I could pick up Teddy's shot records.  While I was over there, I figured I'd do a trip to Michaels WITHOUT the kids.  So much calmer!  And I found a lot of cute things, many of which were on the clearance rack.  I picked up several more journals while I was there too.  They are so much cheaper than other places AND they are already decorated (which will be a big plus in some of the swaps that I belong to).  I got things for 2 of the Ultimate Year of Happy Mail swaps that I'm doing and those are going to be ready to go tomorrow.  I'm going to try to take pictures of all of them before I send them off, if the camera will let me.  From there, I had to register Teddy for kindergarten (which I posted about on my last post.)

Since Rich was feeling better, we headed out to P.S. Noodle Pot for lunch.  I've been there several times with Becca, but Rich just had to seethe with jealousy until today.  It's a decent Thai place with a pretty good lunch menu.  I have a tendency to get the Chicken Pad Thai, because I'm just addicted to it.  And Rich had to agree that, yes, P.S. Noodle Pot is a place we'll need to go to more often.  The only problem there today was that their card machine was down so it was cash only.  Luckily, there's a bank in the same center, so we were able to get cash.  But it seemed to be a theme for today.

Since we had time to kill, we headed over to Rick's Comic City.  The good news: they had a lot of goodies that I wanted to pick up (more than I could, financially).  The  bad news: their boxes are full so I can't get them to pre-order titles for me.  And I don't know of any other comic shops in the area that I could go to.  I'm going to try to get there bi-monthly though, so I could keep an eye on boxes in case one frees up.  There's another one down in Murfreesboro, but that might be a bit further out for me.  We'll see.

I did manage to pick up a few things that I wanted, one of which I'll be able to review here for my 100 books in a year (the graphic novel Green Arrow: The Sound of Violence).  The big win, though, was the Doctor Who Meets Jack the Ripper comic that I picked up.  I've been wanting to get it and was so glad to see that Rick's had it.  Yay!

For dinner, we decided on Sonic.  Wednesday's are Wacky Sack Wednesdays there and the boys LOVE getting them.  So Rich and I decided that it would be an acceptable dinner, since he was going to have to leave at around 5 to get to Murfreesboro and set up for his class.  Every drive-up that I drove to had the screen offline, but I thought that it was just their external credit mechanism that was down.  So I placed my order and figured I'd give my card to the girl when she came out with the food.  What no one told me UNTIL she got out there was that they weren't able to take any cards.  I asked her to hold my food and that I'd run down the street to the bank to pick up money.  Instead, she trusted me with the food and told me to just come back with it.  I dunno if she recognized me as being there regularly or what, but I was honored with the trust that she showed.  So I hurried to the bank and came back to pay her.  With my change, she gave me two chits of a free medium sized drink.  That's one of the reasons I love this Sonic.  They really are great people.

The boys are pulling me into the living room to watch something on TV, so I think some time away from the computer is a good idea.  I'll either be reading comics or writing in journals or something of that nature.  They go to bed in 45 minutes and Rich doesn't get home until 10:30, so I suspect I'm going to have some really great Alone time tonight with (hopefully) a lot of things getting done.

Have you ever noticed that a lot of the things on my mind turn out to be "How I spent my day?"  Not good, not bad.  Just a thing.  Maybe one of these days I'll write more interesting things...

What a Weekend!

This weekend has been a mixture of productiveness and frustration.

It started at 5:30, Saturday morning when Teddy came in to tell me he'd thrown up in his bed. I'd really hoped the sick was over because he hadn't had a fever Thursday or Friday. But when I took his temperature after stripping his bed, he was back up to 103.  I immediately had him take some ibuprofen and told him that yes, we could stay downstairs.  I got the laundry started and played around online for awhile while Teddy played Pokemon on the netbook next to me.  Pete came down after awhile and I got the boys something to eat, then Rich came down around 8:30.  Teddy seemed to be back to his regular self, but we kept an eye on him anyway.

Saturday is our usual library day, so we headed down to our favorite branch to pick up our holds and anything else that caught our attention.  The boys each got kids graphic novels (Spiderman and Spidergirl) and a few DVDs to watch this week.  I had my copy of Dexter, Season 4, Disc 3 waiting for me, along with several other books I was waiting for.  My To Read list just keeps getting longer and longer!

From there, we headed over to Golden Corral for lunch and then Big Lots for some shopping.  I decided that part of my Swap-Bot organization would be a binder with my current swaps.  I'm putting print outs of the relevant details of the swap into sheet protectors and then I can use a dry erase marker to make notes.  The paper, once it's finished, will be used for scrap paper as I work out creations that I'm trying to do. I'd thought I had a binder and sheet protectors at home, but I can't find them.  Big Lots had 1" binders for $1 and 20 sheet protectors for $1.  I also picked up one of their paper craft goody bags for $2.  More stuff to use as extras when I send swaps or for my own crafting.  The boys, as per usual, were all over the store.  Hey, it's what they do.

Even though I'd had grand plans for cleaning when I got home, I ended up napping instead.  I could barely keep my eyes open!  Rich came to wake me up at around 6 so I wouldn't sleep through supper and I'd be able to sleep at night.  He'd made a yummy roast chicken with stuffing and corn.  He's such a great cook and I'm so lucky he doesn't mind cooking!

I managed to get several of the swaps done as well.  I've got one that's getting mailed tomorrow, that I finished writing last night.  It's a very long letter describing my Friday for one of my swaps.  I didn't think I'd done so much until I wrote it all down!  I hope my partner likes the letter!  While I was writing, Rich and I were playing more Fate of the World, which is one TOUGH game.  It actually frustrated both of us, so we started playing Galactic Civilization II.  Much easier on the stress level than watching the world explode under your watch over and over.

This morning, Rich and the boys let me sleep int until 8:30.  Rich said Teddy's been a little warm, but that was it.  He gave him some tylenol and ibuprofen, just to be on the safe side.  Turns out he was lucky he did (more about that later).

When I came downstairs, I decided it was time to tackle the piles of laundry that needed folding.  Three bins later, I was finished.  Rich brought the bins upstairs for me, and I just need to put them away (which I haven't done yet, bad me).  Got another load of laundry into the washer so there was progress there.

While Rich and the boys were at church, I had planned on playing a little solo Gal Civ.  Instead, I started working on a character for a play by post game by the creators of one my favorite past play by post games (Tazlure's creators, for those curious).  It's a steampunk game and we're currently getting ready for a play test.  I'm still working through my character, but I'd say that I'm about 75% done before showing it to the mods.  I got stuck on something I wanted to talk out with Rich, so I switched to work on another swap - the Book Log swap. The original swap was to send a list of all the books we've read within the last 15 years, plus a second list of the books or series that we wanted to read.  For those of us that read a lot, it would have been a HUGE e-mail, so the coordinator of the swap said we could do favorites, or the last couple of years or something of that nature.  I chose to list the books that I've read since October - all 60 plus of them.  I included links back to my blog here so they could get reviews if they wanted.  Then I listed 15 books and series that I have on my need to read someday list.  I left off the ones that I have at home, because they are ones that I know I'll be reading.

Rich called after church to make sure I was ready to go out for lunch.  We hit Shoney's - which was incredibly packed.  I mean, it's packed on Sundays because of the after church crowd anyway, but this... this was insane!  We didn't have to wait too long at all for a table, though, so that was a plus.  The food was pretty good (as usual) and Rich and I spent some of the time getting our menu together for the week's suppers so we could put our grocery list together.  Grocery shopping afterwards was it's usual joy, fun and excitement thanks to Peter deciding to run all over the store and Rich finally putting him in the cart and me buckling him in.  For almost the rest of the time through the store, Pete screamed and cried.  Oh, to be a 2 year old and have the whole world resting on your shoulders!

We got home and picked up the mail from yesterday, only to find a letter from Unemployment saying that I had been denied because I hadn't worked enough in the past 5 quarters.  Which, since I've been unemployed for over a year, is a no duh.  I'm supposed to be on extended benefits.  So tomorrow, I'll be making a phone call to find out what's going on.  I'm hoping that it's just something that got sent out from the first thing the guy that helped me get onto extended benefits tried.  But I'll find out tomorrow.

I finally got around to putting together the bookcase that I bought for my crafting stuff. It fits nicely in the dining room, which is where I do most of my crafting anyway.  While I was finishing it, we got a phone call from Teddy's doctor - he's got strep.  When we took him on Thursday, the quick test said no but the longer test came back positive.  The doctor was pretty surprised because his throat didn't look that bad.  But we needed to get him on antibiotics as soon as possible.  She called in a script for amoxicillin to the Walgreens down the street from us (since our usual pharmacy at the university wasn't open).  I took a run down there to pick up not only the medicine but new toothbrushes so Teddy wouldn't reinfect himself (and I needed to get a new one for Pete because he needs whatever his brother has).

I came home to Rich getting ready to make dinner - leftover roast beef gyros.  Teddy didn't have any - or anything else for that matter since he'd gotten sick again, and Pete ate a little pita and meat.  I had two gyros.  They were fantastic (but as I said above, my husband is a fantastic cook!)

I'm not sure what the rest of the night has in store.  I need to get more of the book reviews finished since I've got my 1st quarter book log swap due by April 4.  So I might work on that while Rich is playing Gal Civ (thanks to 2 computers).  I may try to do Swap-Bot Saturday or Silent Sunday (but probably not).  I may start trying to migrate and organize the things for my new crafting book shelf. I may fold more laundry.  It's still too early to tell.

Tomorrow's going to be a homebound day.  The doctor told us that Teddy will still be considered contagious until he's been on the amoxicillin for 24 hours.  But I've got lots of things I can do around the house.  Hopefully my boys will help me but even if they don't.... I'm determined to do what needs to be done and not let myself be sucked into the evil that is my online world.  (Ok, not EVIL, but definitely not productive to getting things done offline!)

What I've Been Up To, Thoughts, Questions and Anything Else That Comes to Mind

I feel like writing tonight more than doing much of anything else.  That's not to say that I won't do anything else, but for the moment, I'm going to just kind of go with the flow.

Teddy's been sick for the last week, so we took him to the doctor today.  His fever's been off and on, which I didn't worry a whole lot about until a) it happened for a week and b) one of the teachers/mother of one of his classmates said that her son had the same symptoms and his doctor diagnosed it as flu.  Our doctor was only able to say that it wasn't strep and probably was a flu-like virus.  And that it looks like it's mostly run it's course. He's been fever free all day, so I'm planning to send him to PDO tomorrow.  Which Mommy really needs.

Since I was over in that area, I stopped by Michaels while I was there.  I'm trying, and failing desperately, to find a stamp or a stencil or something reusable and/or easy to find again (like stickers) with generic books/someone reading/a quote about reading.  With all of the book swaps I've been doing lately, I think having something book related that I can use to jazz up envelopes or bookmarks or pages in journals would be a great thing.  I just don't have any luck with it.  If anyone has any directions that they can send me in my hopeless-feeling quest, I'll be forever grateful!  I've tried Amazon and while they have some, but of the few selections they had, nothing jumped out at me.

I have found, however, that Michaels will be where I go for my journaling needs.  I picked up a couple of really pretty 100 pages journals for $2 each.  If I'm not in the mood to decorate a journal, I think these will be the ones I'll use.  I may go back over one day next week and pick up a few of the 80 pagers that they had for $1 for some of the smaller swaps that I'm doing.  I also picked up a new punch and a new stamp that looked kind of neat and useful in the $1 bin.  When I can go sans kids (because going today with them was a nightmare on two sets of feet), I'm going to look through their punches a little more closely.  The one I picked up today has a butterfly, but I glimpsed a few others that may have caught my fancy if I had more than 2 seconds to look at them.  And I may check Big Lots again for some of the punches, because I know they've had some in the past for around $1 as well.

Another item that I'm having a heck of a time finding is stationary sets.  I used to remember seeing them all the time when I was younger - I even had several of them.  Now I'm finding a ton of notecard sets but no stationary and matching envelopes.  And I'm not quite crafty enough yet to try making my own envelopes. Any of my readers that have suggestions on that, I'll be happy to hear from you as well.

I can also use some advice.  My boys have been getting completely out of control when we've gone out to stores lately.  Though, honestly, it's more Pete than Teddy.  Teddy does have his meltdown moments, but more often than not, he's willing to help me.  Pete, however, thinks that "Run away from Mommy and get into everything I can" is the most exciting game in the world and he has to play.  I've tried putting him in the cart - he tries to climb back out.  I've tried buckling him in, but have the carts have broken buckles any more.  I've tried swatting his bottom.  No luck.  I can REALLY use any suggestions from anyone who has dealt with the same kind of thing.  Because at this point, I'm getting to where I don't ever want to leave the house with them again except for PDO, doctor's appointments or to go to the park.

My toils with organization are still ongoing.  I picked up the Organizher Family Organizer on clearance and I'm finding it incredibly useful.  It has undated calendars with different sections for each member of the family, plus a section for lunch and dinner and daily notes, as well as a notes column on the side for the week.  There are several meal planner sheets with grocery list space on the back, two large plastic zip-closed pockets, sheets for addresses and websites, a plastic business card holder and elastics over the back cover to keep things that you may need there.  It's in a three ring binder, plus Mead (who makes the product) has downloadable content on their website so I can add pages when I need it.  So far, it's been pretty useful this week.

I have a grand plan for organizing swaps.  Actually, two grand plans.  The first is the 3 shelf bookcase that I bought.  At the moment, my crafting supplies are all over the dining room.  There's no place that can hold all of it.  So I'm going to use this bookcase for that purpose.  I have a caddy organizer (smallish) that I can put scissors and other things I don't want Pete to get his hands on on top. For things like pens/stamping pens/etc, I think I'm going to get a pencil case to keep him from grabbing that.  I'm hoping that I'll find new and inventive ways to use the space and still keep all my stuff relatively neat.  The second is getting a small folder or binder that I can put active swaps in.  I've found that when I've been out lately, I haven't been able to remember exact rules for certain swaps, or I don't have papers with me that I need, etc.  I can fill the folder with sheet protectors, get a ringed pencil case to put pens and dry erase markers in and have space to work on the things that I want to work on.  Not sure if it'll fit in my small backpack, but it's worth a try.

I've still desperately got to work on mu Plan.  I'm finding more and more that I can easily make excuses or waste too much time on the computer, things like that.  And in my effort to get better organized, I've got to stop doing it.  I'm hoping that a schedule will help me with it so I can get done the things that I NEED to get done.  I have such a hard time putting off fun until later.  Not much of an adult, sometimes.

I'm guessing that my bookcase isn't getting built tonight.  It was one of my possible plans, but I've been working on this quite a bit.  Not that this is a bad thing.  And maybe it's what I needed tonight more than building a bookcase.  It'll probably be easier with Rich around anyway.  I find it interesting the things that I write sometimes, what comes pouring forth from my brain, etc.

Maybe I should try working on a few of those book reviews at least.  The numbers keep going up rather than down.  Look for those shortly.  And thanks for listening to my babble.  Or reading my babble, which is slightly more appropriate.  And please... I'm serious about getting advice and suggestions.  I can't say that I'll take everyone's advice, but I will at least take a look at it.

Various thoughts running through my head

I came downstairs this morning and got on the computer as per usual.  I found the last thing that Rich had been reading - an article about why some bullying should be allowed in school. It was inspired by the Casey Heynes video in which an overweight high school kid that was being bullied by classmates turned the tables and finally hit back.  Dr Johnson doesn't advocate "turning high schools into publicly-funded 'Lord of the Flies' re-enactments", but instead states that some amount of bullying helps kids navigate in the real world.

I'm torn between agreeing - because, as the need for The Mom Pledge goes to show, bullying exists for adults as well - and thinking he's hopelessly naive.  Because, while the physical bullying is a bad enough thing, it's the psychological bullying that's the worst.  For every one Casey Heynes, there are hundreds of kids (and yes, I'm pulling the number out of the air so don't take this as gospel) that have fragile egos that makes them both easier prey and life a living hell for them.  And of those, there are a small percentage that snap like Michael Carneal in 1997 and resort to extreme violence.  It's a lot harder to catch the psychological bullying because kids are crafty enough not to do where adults can hear.  And for all that we tell our children that they need to tell an adult when this kind of thing is happening, most kids don't feel comfortable doing so for a variety of reason - no good home life, don't feel like adults take them seriously, feel like telling on the bully makes them a coward.  I think this is the kind of bullying that anti-bullying stances are trying to eradicate.  Because, I do applaud Casey Heynes for standing up for himself, but think that it will be difficult for a lot of other kids to do the same.

(Yeah, my thoughts aren't completely coherent right now. I may try to write more on this later after coffee and my errands for the day are done.)

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Teddy is scared to death of our cat, Lemon.  Lemon has a split personality - sometimes he'll want snuggles or be content to lay at the top of the stairs, watching the world go by and other times, he decides that biting or scratching needs to happen at that moment.  It's happened often enough to Teddy that he hates to walk by Lemon, afraid that this time it's going to be a time that he'll be scratched or bit.  (And this, without realizing it until now, does seem to tie into my above remarks because Lemon is very much a bully.)  And a thought ran through my head that gave me a small smile - you so often hear of kids terrorizing pets.  How often do you hear of pets terrorizing kids?  Not that I'm making light of Teddy's fear of Lemon.  I know it's something that really bothers him and I'm trying to help him get over it.  But the juxtaposition was an odd one in my mind.

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I've finally made an appointment for Teddy to see the doctor.  We're going to need to leave soon.  We won't get to see his doctor, but we will get to see Dr Steigelfest, who is one of Dr Rothman's fabulous partners.  I'm hoping that we'll be able to figure out what's up with Teddy.  Because fevers up and down for the last week is getting worrying.  We'll see what they say.

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And now, I need to get my butt in gear, get my kids dressed and head out the door.  I'm hoping that I'll be able to make a stop at Michael's while we're over there, but I think we'll be done before they open at 9 (appointment is at 8:15.)  Maybe I'll get lucky.

More thoughts to come later, because I know I haven't written them all out.  And really, would I be able to?

Grand Plans and all that crap

I had all these wonderful plans of being blogductive today and what happens but life throws me curve balls.  Teddy's still not feeling 100% so he wanted a lot of Mommy time.  Rich was home early so I got to spend time with him.  The boys wanted me to be in the living room with them and, while I was trying to do things online, Peter decided to sit on Mommy's lap.  This makes it 10 times harder to type anything.  Got the boys to bed a bit late.  I have a headache that's busting my brain.  And then I came downstairs to find that a swap that I'd spent a lot of time on back at the beginning of the year got lost in the mail and the person never received it.  So now I have a 1 on my profile and I'll be making her another one.  I have no problem with making her another one... it's going to take a bit of time, but she definitely deserves it.  I just wish she'd contacted me first.

So, Rich and I are going to beat on some peasants (he had a bad night teaching too) and call today a wash.  Tomorrow will be better.  And at least I've gotten all my e-mail swaps out today and most of the rest of the swaps are journal swaps.  Tomorrow, I can focus on those.  When the day is new.

G'night, all.  And hopefully, I'll be back to catch up on some things as soon as I can.

Once again, back in the saddle

The last several weeks have been insane.  Between Teddy's birthday weekend and an unexpected trip to Philly/NJ for a funeral, I have barely had a chance to breath let alone get anything done.  While there is still a lot of chaos around me, I'm trying to feel revitalized enough to get everything done.  I'm still trying to come up with a plan of attack... I have some ideas, but I really need to sit down and write them out.  I need to come up with something to keep everything in as well.  I'm getting ready to head out for several errands, including running to Wal-Mart, so I may be able to find something that will help me out.  And tonight, Rich is taking the boys out to go shopping for my birthday (am I seriously going to be 37 on Friday?  Gah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), so I might be able to get some of my organization done then.

I'm still staying about the same in the weight department.  I think I need to revamp my goals again, but that shouldn't be too difficult.  I'm still determined that I'm going to make the changes that I need to to be healthy.  The weather has been nicer, so I might be able to get out and walk more.  I bought another new pedometer - the one that I got with the DS program had the hook break off so it won't stay on my hip/shoe/whatever, and it doesn't do well in my pocket.  But the new one doesn't seem to be working right either.  I'll figure something out.  When I'm out at the store today, I'm going to pick up some more fruit so I have some healthier options for snacking.

I'm pretty behind in Swap-Bot again, in large part because of the trip to the NE.  I think tomorrow is going to be a Focus on Swap-Bot day.  Kids should be in PDO, so that should give me some time for taking care of things without the boys driving me insane.  I'm hoping to have everything back to normal on that end by the weekend.  We'll see how it goes, though.

I still have a lot of backlog with writing book reviews as well.  I'm going to write that up on a list as well, for the various things that I need to do.  That crosses over into Swap-Bot, since one of the swaps I'm in is a book log for the first quarter of 2011.  It shouldn't be too difficult, though, since most of the books I've read are graphic novels.  I did, however, listen to a couple of audio books on the trip, so those will count as well.

I have a grand plan for cleaning.  Rather than focus on a room at a time, I'm going to focus on a section of a room at a time.  The rest of the house might be a mess, but that isn't to worry about right now.  Instead, I'm going to start at one corner of the apartment - specifically, the far left corner in the kitchen.  I'm going to clean and organize from that point forward until I feel finished for the day, then I'm going to quit.  The next day, I can pick up from that point.  While I go, I'm also going to decorate - pictures on walls, things like that.  I won't have to be stressed because I don't have a specific amount that needs to be done daily, but I'll still be able to see progress.

There's fun worked in here as well.  Yesterday, before we got home, we stopped by GameStop to pick up our reserved copies of Pokemon: Black and Pokemon: White.  It's pretty cool because everything is brand new - new area, completely new pokemon, and I've been avoiding spoiling myself so I don't know what will be coming up.  Along with Pokemon, I'm finally downloading WoW to the new computer (which came in right before the trip to the NE).  So I'm going to make some time for that as well.  After all, I'm paying for it, I might as well use it.

I'm getting back into a few other things as well.  I finally got the 1st disc of Season 4 of Dexter, so I'm catching up on that.  I'm hoping that disc 2 will be in soon.  I'm also getting ready to start season 5 of Teen Titans.  I just have to send the latest disc back to Netflix.  We listened to Book 5 of The 39 Clues on the trip back and have decided that we really want to get back into those, so I have the first several of those on hold at the library.  Rather than spending a lot of TV time, we're planning on spending a lot of Audio Book time in the evenings.  It'll be nice, I think.  Plus, I need to make a trip back to Rick's Comic City to pick up a few new comics.  I haven't gotten a box yet, but I'm still thinking about it.  I could use more Green Arrow.

Speaking of which, Barnes & Noble is doing an online promotion of buy 3 get the 4th free on their graphic novels.  I'm debating picking up some.  I have a $20 gift card for B&N anyway, so it would be a good thing to buy.  I just have to decide what I want to get.

Re: the trip to Philly... for all that we saw family for a sad reason (my husband's grandmother's funeral), it was actually a pretty good visit.  We got to spend time with family and got to have fun with the boys.  I got quite a few cute pics of the boys and various members of the family, and I'm hoping to get those up on Picasa and/or Facebook next week.  I've got a few things that I'm hoping to put into the scrapbook as well.  That's another thing that needs to go onto my To Do list.

We'll be making another trip north this summer.  My in-laws have rented a house on the Jersey shore and we'll be there for a week.  We're hoping to go up to NY to spend time with my family as well.  I'm also hoping that we might be able to include a few days of visiting in Philly with friends and maybe making an extra stop or two at places in VA that we've been wanting to check out (including a super huge book sale that goes on 6 or 7 times a year).

It definitely looks like things are going to be keeping busy.  And that's good.  I need to keep busy.  Especially because Teddy will be starting Kindergarten in the fall.  And if I'm busy, I won't have to think about my little boy becoming a big one! :D

Now I'd better get going and run some errands.  Just too much going on and we all have to start somewhere!  :)

Have a great Fat Tuesday, all!