One step forward, two hobbles back

Things had been going so great.  I was in a zone where cleaning was coming along wonderfully.  Downstairs looked great, the only thing left to do was vacuum.  I'd even gotten a little decorating done outside for Christmas - the wreath on the door and the net lights over the bushes outside our window.  The lights I'd put above the door weren't working, but I could figure that out later.  I was going to bring out the bag of garbage from upstairs, the garbage that I'd used for cleaning downstairs and the garbage from the kitchen can out before heading out to pick Peter up from PDO and I'd feel really accomplished today.

On my way downstairs with the bag of trash, however, my ankle decided that it didn't like the way I was walking.  It turned under me and I heard a snap.  Then I tumbled, painfully, down the stairs to smack my head on a bin of books that were going to need to go to Goodwill and/or the library.  "Please, no."  I prayed, blinking the stars out of my eyes.  I couldn't afford a broken ankle.  I moved to my knees, then tried putting weight on my right foot.  It was holding, though it hurt like hell.  Maybe it wasn't broken.  Maybe it was just a bad sprain.  Maybe it just needed to be walked out.  Maybe...

As I made each step, I hoped and prayed that it would feel better.  Instead, it felt worse.  Tears welled up in my eyes.  This was going to suck.  And I had no choice but to drive on it.  My husband is 30 to 45 minutes away from Pete's PDO and the overage rates for being that late would be far more than we could afford.  So drive I would.

I called my husband as I drove, carefully trying to put as little pressure on my ankle as I had to press down the gas and the break while also trying to ignore the pain shooting up my leg.  I asked him to come home.  Driving 5 minutes to PDO and back I could do.  30 minutes to the ER, I wasn't so sure about.  Then I called PDO, and asked the director if she could bring Pete to the van for me.  Walking down the hill they have there was more than I thought I could do.

Once I got home, I made two more calls - Teddy's school, asking that they have him waiting in the office for Rich to pick him up, and my doctor's office asking if I should go to the ER or to acute care.  I shouldn't have bothered with the second - as I suspected, she told me, "ER!  We wouldn't be able to set it here if it's broken.  And from what you describe, it sounds like it's broken."

So now I'm waiting for Rich and Teddy to get home so we can drop the kids off at my friend's house then head to the ER and wait to find out how bad is bad.  I'm hoping for a bad sprain, but expecting a break.  And I keep thinking two things:  "Why is the end of 2012 having to suck so badly?" and "At least my house is clean... ish."

Today is the First Day of the Rest of My Life

2011 was a rough year here.  We dealt with unexpected cancer (which, thankfully, they got all of), major surgery, bullying in school, and familial issues best not aired to the world.  Financially, it could have been better.  Bu in the end, I was able to celebrate the moment when 2011 left us and 2012 came into being with my husband and children (though Pete was asleep, Teddy managed to make it to midnight).

I have a lot of changes planned for 2012.  There are a lot of things that I'm hoping to do to not only better myself but better the world around me.  I've restarted my 101 in 1,001 list and even rebooted the blog that went with it.  I'm hoping that with the last year of fairly regular blogging (between here and Views from the Reader Side) that I'll be able to keep up fairly regularly. Because I want to make this work.  And I'm determined.

What do I want to accomplish in 2012?  Quite a few things.

I want to save $2,400.  That's $200 a month.  Since we no longer have the car payment, putting that money aside should be doable.  Eventually, we want to buy a house.  And the only way that we're going to be able to do that is by saving now.

I want to be able to keep my home from CHAOS (for those unfamiliar with FlyLady, it's "Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome").  I'm going to try to come up with a schedule of things that need to be done every day to keep on top of things.  I'm going to push the boys, Rich and myself to clean as we go and make sure each night, we go to bed with everything put away the way it should be.  I'm going to find better ways for organization, things like hooks on the walls for purses/backpacks/lunchboxes, baskets to keep each person's things in and a Shoe Station for shoes to go into when they come off in the house.  I'm going to make my house a place I want to come back to.

I'm going to start therapy up again.  I've had a lot of depression issues in 2011 that I need to fight off.  I need someone to talk to when things get rough.  And my friends... yes, they help.  And they help a LOT.  Writing does help, but it doesn't give the feedback that I always need.  So I'm going to start talking to someone professional again.  It's a step toward making me better.

I'm going to be more diligent about my reviews and my rating for swaps.  I need to be more responsible about things, and that's a good place to start.

I'm going to work harder at losing weight.  I'm not going to bring the fattening things into the house and I'm going to put more exercise into my day.  As a help to this (and something to better me in general), I'm going to spend less time on the computer and more time playing with my boys (preferably outside).

This aren't the only things I want to accomplish.  I want to blog more and get back to being a part of my blogging communities.  I want to write more and hopefully participate in NaNoWriMo and NaNoBloMo.  I want to end 2012 feeling good about myself, my family and my world.  And I know that none of this is going to happen overnight.  I need to keep plugging away at these things.  Because success isn't instantaneous.  It's something that needs to be worked toward.  And that is my biggest goal - working toward the things that I want to happen in 2012 and for the rest of my life.

When did we lose the need to make it fun?

There is a common bit of parenting wisdom that says a way to get your kids to do their chores is to make it fun.  Make picking up toys a race with a prize at the end. Turn on music while cleaning and dance while you work. Call out a piece of the table setting and have the kids set the table with that piece as quickly as possible.  Anything to turn it into a fun game, which makes your kids WANT to help.

But when did we, as adults, stop thinking about making our chores fun?  When did chores become a chore, something that needed to be done regardless of how we feel about them?  When did the drudgery begin?  And why do we need it to continue?

I, for one, am not going to do chores for chores sake any longer.  No longer will I force myself to fold laundry with an aching back, or lug heavy furniture out of the way so I can vacuum it.  No longer will I be an automaton as I load dishes in the dishwasher or clean up after the kids have gone to bed.

But Amber, I hear some of you say, won't that result in even MORE chaos than you already have?  I mean... you've always had problems with housekeeping...


True.  Very true.  But part of the reason that I have problems with housekeeping is that it's not enjoyable.  The computer calls to me far more loudly than the load of laundry waiting to be folded.  And more often than not, the computer wins.  But I'm not giving up on chores all together, planning on living in ever increasing squalor. No, I'm changing how I clean, not if I clean.  I'm not going to do chores for chores sake but do them because I can make them fun, like I do for my boys.

I've been partway there for awhile, listening to audio books when I clean.  But that isn't as feasible when the boys are around (since I need to listen for the crashes that tell me that they've gotten into something else that they weren't supposed to).  But I need other ideas, other ways to make things fun.

When cleaning the living room, I'm going to put music on and dance while I clean.  When sorting and organizing, I'm going to make a game to see how many of each item I have.  I'm going to bring the kids into things more regularly.

2012 will be the year of fun.

So now I ask you, gentle readers, how do you make the everyday chores fun?  Because I'm always up for new ideas.