Thankful Thursday - Teachers

Once, way back in the dawny mists of time, I wanted to be a teacher.  I loved sharing knowledge and helping other kids understand what was going on.  I was so sure that I wanted to teach high school math that I didn't have a backup plan.  I already had all of my core classes credited, so I was able to jump in with both feet.

Boy, was that a mistake!  My college had a mentoring program where they would pair us with existing teachers in our subjects in order for us to learn from them.  I was paired with a teacher close to campus (after my car went kablooie) and I was so excited to get started.  Unfortunately, the class I was watching were made up of 11th graders in an Algebra I class. They were far more interested in passing notes to one another than paying attention to what the teacher was teaching. Where were the kids eager for knowledge?  Why weren't the kids listening to the teacher?  Was THIS what I was going to be in for?!!!

That was when I realized that I should drop the "education" part of my "math education" degree and flounder around for something else to do with my life (spoiler: I still haven't figured it out.)  But it did teach me, more than anything else could have, what kind of BS teachers can go through.

My next regular dealing with the public school system was when Tedd started kindergarten.  I was nervous, partly because he was my baby and partly because I'd heard horror stories of what public education was becoming - focusing on tests, not really valuing creativity, wanting to pound every square peg into a round hole.  I had been seeing some of that 20 years earlier when I was in school, but I'd heard it had gotten worse.  This time I had a backup plan of homeschooling him if it turned out what I'd feared.  

It wasn't even close to what I feared.  Maybe the boys and I have just gotten lucky, but we've had fantastic teachers every year they've been in school.  Teachers that kept me in the loop, that contacted me not only when things were bad but when they were good too, that understood that kids are individuals and one size doesn't fit all of them.  I've been so lucky that the years have turned some of them from the boys' teachers to something closer to friends.  

Tedd had teachers that understood that the curriculum was too easy for him.  In kindergarten, he was put with a reading specialist because he was reading at above 5th grade.  In 3rd and 4th grade, his teacher knew his math was easy and would give him algebra problems to do just for fun. In 4th grade, all of the PE teachers deciding unanimously that he should get the PE award that year, because they saw how much he tried and he never complained. In 6th grade, his English teacher (who Tedd didn't really care for) called me about some weird sentences Tedd had written, mainly because they were out of character for him.  All of his 7th grade teachers at MLK, and his guidance counsellor, worked with us to figure out what was causing his grades to tank and him to spend so much time out of the class.  Last year, when he was learning from home instead of in the school building, his teachers would contact me to make sure everything was ok and if there was anything he, or we, needed.

Pete's SPD teacher was with him all the way through elementary school.  She helped both of us learn ways to make the world make sense for him.  His first grade teacher would keep an eye on him for his "wiggle dance" because she knew that he would never raise his hand to ask for permission to go.  His 2nd and 3rd grade teacher moved rooms between the two years and took a room with an in-class bathroom because she knew it would be helpful for Pete.  His 4th grade teacher understood his ASD and SPD, knowing which battles were important to fight with him and which ones she could let slide by.  His PE teacher in 5th grade complimented him on his running and has hoped to have him in class every year.  One of his ELA teachers was his touch-stone teacher - the one who would look out for Pete, finding what he enjoyed, and stepping in when Pete wouldn't step in for himself.  Every one of his teachers last year understood that virtual learning wasn't the absolute best for him and didn't get sick of my constant emails to make sure I wasn't missing anything.  The librarian at his school contacted me at the beginning of the year to brag on him. His math teacher this year sent me a picture of the Sonic Pete made in her class when they were playing with compasses today because she knew I would love it.

At the end of the school year, I say thank you to all their teachers for helping me raise my boys to be great kids.  Because I know how much they do and how much they sacrifice for all "their" kids.  I know that they spend their own money, their own time after school, and sometimes their own sanity, to make sure these kids are getting what they need to learn.  They are all stronger than I ever could ever be, being there every day.  I couldn't raise my boys without their help.

So today, I am thankful for teachers that deserve far better than they sometimes get.

Pete's Compass Sonic

Monday Musings - Then and Now

 

I see the world that my boys are growing up in and I can't help but compare it to my own life at their age.

At almost 13 (like Pete is now), I was living in rural New York.  I was attending a school that housed kindergarten through 12th grade, maybe about 400 kids in the whole school.  My 7th grade class was about 30, 35 kids.  They were the kids I'd known (for the most part) since kindergarten.  The furthest I had to move was from the bottom and 1st floor of the building up to the second floor.  It was neat to get a locker, to move from class to class.  Much like in elementary school, we had the same kind in every class.  We all moved together from Math to English to Social Studies to Spanish.  We had PE every day, all year round. I was able to be in chorus and, for a little while, band as well.  Though I stopped band so I could be in the color guard.  I had some very good friends, but there were also some (mainly the guys) who could be really cruel.  Every mistake I'd made - and, being an awkward kid, there were a lot - was remembered.  I was overweight, smart, and so very awkward.  I know I wasn't the only one that had trouble, but it really seemed like it sometimes.  

My days were often spent outside, sometimes running around our property, sometimes going down the hill to spend time with my cousins, often times with a book in hand.  It was an awkward time, partly because my dad had moved to Florida the year before so I didn't have him nearby (I was a true Daddy's girl) and partly because I was too much like my mom, and we would fight all the time.  While it wasn't the best year for me, it also wasn't the worst.

I was a strange one in middle school!

Pete has a different time in 7th grade.  He's at the same school he's been at for the last two years, but kindergarten through 4th grade were an elementary school.  He's been changing classes for several years now, and it's old hat for him.  For 5th and 6th grade, each class had different students in it (6th, of course, was partly because of virtual and hybrid learning).  This year, to make contact tracing easier if any of the kids get COVID, he has the same kids in all of his classes (except for related arts).  He doesn't have daily PE, though this year he is getting it for two quarters instead of just one.  He's learning a lot more than I ever did - pre-algebra instead of some lower level maths, chemistry instead of earth science, world history instead of American history. Computers are a part of his every day life and he knows them a bit better than I do - even after using them for almost 40 years!  Of course, he's also having to maneuver through a global pandemic - which isn't something that I had to worry about at his age.

But there are some things that are the same.  He doesn't have a lot of friends.  Part of it, I think, is because he doesn't care as much.  It's the ASD that makes some kids think he's weird.  Though I will say that all of the kids in his classes, while not good friends of his, are at least kind.  I can't complain about that.  And he spends a good deal of time outside.  Pretty much daily, he leaves the apartment to run up and down the streets within the complex.  He doesn't read as much as I do, but he does love to learn as much as I did.  And I'm watching him grow in ways I never could have expected even 2 years ago.

Growing tall, growing up.

By the time 15 and 10th grade came around, so much had changed for me.  I had moved to Florida to live with my dad and I went from the tiny school I was in to a high school with 400 students per grade level!  It was scary for me, because I didn't know anyone.  But I took a computer class over the summer and made a few friends.  When school started, I was put into the choral group where I ended up making most of my friends.  The classes weren't any harder for me than they'd been in NY (though I did have to do some class switching because they put me in some classes that I'd already taken).   I didn't participate in color guard any longer, but Chorus was a much bigger deal than it had been in NY.  I had friends close enough by to visit with, and the ability to take the bus home with my best friend's on several occasions.  It was one of the happiest years in school for me, giving me a bit of a chance to reinvent myself and put all the embarrassing past behind.

Me, in 10th or 11th grade.  I was so happy then!

 Tedd is in a strange situation.  He's at the same school he's been in since 7th grade, but in some ways, it's like a brand new school for him.  Last year, because of virtual learning, he didn't really keep up with the friends he'd made before.  There was no real time to talk to them in class because the videos were more about learning.  So when he came back in person this year, it was like it was a whole new school.  (I think he's got one friend that is still in a class with him.)  

He was also able to kind of reinvent himself mentally, thanks to the year of virtual schooling.  He has a lot of social anxiety  and that negatively affected his schooling in 7th and 8th grade.  Being able to take his time, not having to show his face, he was able to focus on the work and not on the fears that were holding him back.  He's got a heavy course load this year - Chinese III, IM III, English Honors II, Chemistry Honors, Men's Choral and his first AP class: AP Human Geography.  It's only been a few weeks, but he seems ore on top of things than he had been in the years before.  Hopefully, he'll also be able to make a few more friends.

Enjoying marshmallows over the summer

As I watch them both in this first few weeks of school, I can't help but think of my past and their present.  I think it's common for all parents.  And at first, I though this post would be talking about what was better for me and what's better for them but after writing, I don't think any of us have a better or worse time.  Just different.  And I'm glad that I get to see my boys growing.

Monday Musings - School is Back On, and So Are Masks

 Writer's Note: I'm not sure why I've been getting more a one-week-on, one-week-off schedule to my blogging, but I'm hoping that will change to the Monday-Friday, every week schedule that I want to have.

Tomorrow, my youngest starts 7th grade.  My oldest, 10th.  Neither has regularly been in a school building since March 2020.  This year, as much as I'd prefer to keep them home with the surge of COVID cases all around, the state Department of Education won't allow any schools to go either all virtual (unless classified as such) or hybrid.  I can understand their reasoning, to an extent.  When the numbers came back for testing, there was a lot of learning loss.  But still, I worry about the youngest students that aren't eligible to be vaccinated yet.  I worry about the virus mutating again and the vaccines not even being enough.  But I'm still sending them to the school building anyway.

Part of it is because of the schools they are in.  Pete is at the local (but not our zoned) middle school.  I know the teachers and administration there, and they know Pete.  If he has a meltdown (far more rare now than in elementary school), they know how to handle it.  And they know how to keep him on task for his schoolwork, something I found increasingly difficult while he was virtually learning.  Tedd is at one of the two academic magnet schools, which needs not only excellent academic scores but luck of the lottery to get into.  He's been there since 7th grade and if I were to pull him out to put him in virtual for a year, he wouldn't be able to get back in.  Plus I don't expect that he'd get the same level of classes in virtual that he gets currently, and he wouldn't be able to sing in chorus, which is one of the things he looks forward to most of all at school.

Thankfully, even at the threat of the Speaker of the House calling a special session to prevent it, our school system has put a mask mandate in place, so my kids will be ready for school with plenty of masks to wear and mask washing happening weekly.  All of the parents and teachers I know personally are very happy about this.  Though based on the rate of transmission and the low level of vaccinations, I do think that the DoE will have to make the choice between allowing virtual schooling or closing schools all together because there won't be enough students or teachers making in school education viable.

Regardless of all of this, tomorrow my kids will be off to school.  No more carrying Pokemon backpacks stuffed with crayons, safety scissors and washable markers.  No more matching shirts and pants, happy grins on little faces.  No more meeting one new teacher for the year, and a classroom full of kids they'll be sharing their whole day with.  Instead, there will be laptop bags stuffed with laptops, pens and folders for paper homework.  There will be baleful glares through long hair and over masks with all the disdain a teenager can give.  There will be meeting many new teachers, a few new friends and several old.  There will be moving from class to class, finding a place to sit, and trying to blend into the background.  (Because, after all, these are my kids.)  It will be a new year, and a different year, even from before March 2020.  But I'm hoping it will also be a great year.  Because after the past 18 months, a great year is something they should have.

First day of Kindergarten and 3rd grade

Getting ready to start 7th and 10th grade*

* If I can/remember, I may come in an put new pictures in of them after their first day tomorrow.

Aging - MamaKat's Writing Prompt

 

6. Write a blog post in exactly 13 lines.

They must be taking an aging potion every night.

It is the only excuse I can think of for seeing hair grow above their lips, on their chests, their legs.

After all, it was only yesterday that they were able to curl up on my lap,  head curled in my shoulder and thumb firmly in mouth and pillow wrapped against their bodies.

Now I need to look up to both of them, much to their amusement.

The misspeaks that made me laugh have given way to intelligent conversation, opinions of their own that can be debated.

No longer are their days filled with playing with toys, instead they are spent on the computer, playing video games with friends.

Rather than being the ones to introduce them to new things, they regularly show us what they think we would enjoy.

More than I'd like, I can't recognize the children they were in the young adults they are becoming.

Is this something every parent goes through, or am I just mired in the past?

Don't get me wrong, I love who they are now, being able to have conversations I never would have imagined.

I love that they are growing into socially conscious individuals, with strong feelings of right and wrong. 

I adore that they are turning into men I am proud of.

I just sometimes miss the babies they were.

Then...

... and now.

Monday Musings - Back to School

 

On August 10th, my boys will be entering school for (almost) the first time in (almost) a year and a half.  The pandemic has kept them as virtual learners from mid March 2020, through the end of the 2020-2021 school year.  When school started last year, we were asked if we were going to want to keep our kids virtual for the year or if we would want them to go back in person when that option opened up.  We chose in person for the year, thinking better safe than sorry.  We were again given the choice at the end of the first semester, and again chose virtual.  This time, it was partly because we didn't really trust that COVID would be under control enough to feel safe sending them back, and partly because we wanted to keep things as stable for the boys as possible.

This year, we're not given an option to do virtual schooling.  In some ways, this is a good thing.  Being back in the school building will be good for Pete and his need for consistency.  It will also let him get back to the services that he's entitled to through his IEP.  Virtual schooling worked for him in one way - in that I knew what his assignments were and was able to keep on top of what he had to get turned in.  But it was so much harder to keep him focused and engaged unless I was sitting on him all the time.  Add to this the fact that being among people will help reinforce the socialization that he needs to practice.  At school, he won't be able to throw a temper tantrum whenever someone asks him to do something he doesn't want to do - which, sadly, becomes the norm here at home.  And if we're really lucky, he'll be able to make a friend or two as well.

Tedd is going to be trickier.  He really did well with virtual schooling.  Since his classes didn't require cameras to be in, he was able to focus on the lessons instead of his social anxiety.  He could engage with others at his own level.  He kept on top of his homework far more readily than he had when he was in the school building.  He felt more comfortable, and that translated to doing better in school.   Our school system does have a Virtual High School, and they opened that up as an option for more students for this upcoming school year, but for all the success that Tedd had in virtual schooling, we decided not to transfer.  A large part of it is because currently, he's at one of the top academic magnet schools in the state - Martin Luther King Jr Magnet.  Elementary and middle school before he transferred in to MLK bored him to death.  He needs the push that he gets at MLK.  And if we were to transfer out to Virtual, we wouldn't be able to get him transferred back in.  So, MLK he stays.

There are also a few other changes coming for the boys from the last time they were in the classroom.  For Pete, his middle school is allowing them to have a common-sense dress code - no offensive clothing, nothing ripped, no sandals, that kind of thing.  It means he can wear his comfortable T-shirts instead of collared polos.  His pants won't change - partly because he only has one kind he'll ever wear anyway.  But he'll be so much more comfortable in T-shirts.  Finding sneakers instead of his sandals... that might be tougher....  For Tedd, his school has been the same common-sense dress code since he started in 7th grade, so no changes for him there.  His change is the fact that the district has gone back to free school lunches for all.  Because the school zone that Pete is in is low-income, lunches were free for everyone there already.  But MLK, being a Magnet pulled from the whole district, didn't have a high enough number of low-income to allow it when they switched to individual school eligibility a couple years ago.  This year, they've announced that all schools are back to free lunches.  Tedd not having to remember to pack a lunch or bring cash with him will be a huge weight off his mind.

This upcoming weekend our school supply Tax Free Weekend, so I'll be going to pick up a lot of things that the kids will need.  Pants for Tedd, shirts for Pete, laptop bags for both, some school supplies (as much for me because I love them as for them - I still have a bunch that they never used last year.) , and probably a few new masks, because even if the schools aren't requiring them, I am.   On the 4th, we'll find out what Pete's schedule is and get a chance to meet his teachers.  On the 9th, I'll make sure their bags are all ready, laptops charged and in their bags, in bed early enough to have an awesome day.  Tedd will try to catch the city bus, I'll drive Pete in to school, and the year will be a touch closer to normal.

Tedd, focusing on his school work

Pete, at his most comfortable
for school

Monday Musings - Father's Day

 

Father's Day is always an interesting time around here.  Not only is it the day that we celebrate mine and Rich's dads (who made us into what we are today) as well as the awesome Father that Rich is himself, every few years it's a double holiday because Rich's birthday is around that time.

This year both weren't on the same day, but it's sometimes hard to get out of the mindset of them being together and celebrated together.  I'm used to Rich working if his birthday isn't on Father's Day, and us celebrating in one big "You are awesome and we love you!" celebration.  This time, he took time off between his birthday and this weekend so we celebrated his birthday first and, after a few days of just not doing much at all, found ourselves on Father's Day.

For his birthday, Tedd and I made him dinner, let him choose everything he wanted for the day.  Tedd had gotten him a D&D shirt, Pete had gotten him Earthworm Jim on Steam and I had picked up Ticket to Ride.  The boys and I made him a lemon cake with lemon frosting.  It was a great day and I think he felt very loved.

Yesterday, even though Tedd and I had gifts for him, we didn't quite get into the same gung ho mindset.  Tedd had been busy playing with his friends online, while I was trying not to stress over something I shouldn't have been stressing about anyway.  Pete was the only one that was interacting him with him, though he was playing his own game.  He was telling Rich all about the game he was playing. When Rich decided to take a nap at 10 am, I realized I'd screwed up.  I tried to make the rest of the day as awesome as possible - including going out for lunch at Uncle Bud's Catfish and Stuff (they make the BEST hushpuppies around!), taking him to Rick's Comic city to pick up some new reads, and playing Ticket to Ride when we got home - with the boys.  I think we managed to turn the day around, but I still feel bad that we didn't get on top of things from the beginning.  (We did, however, give him our gifts before going out to lunch.  Tedd got him a "Loading: Dad Jokes" shirt and I got him a "Science: It's Like Magic But Real" shirt.)  I have to try to do better next year.

Rich and the boys, Father's Day

Figuring out Ticket to Ride

It's the Little Things

 Tomorrow, two things are happening.  My apartment complex is coming to do the quarterly spraying and I'm getting some furniture from a friend.  As such, today is a day of cleaning. 

I came downstairs and told Pete that we needed to clean and his job was to clean the living room.  Rather than fussing or "waiting for Tedd", he got started.  When I was done with my breakfast, I went in and found he'd done a pretty good job.  There were still a few things to do, and he patiently picked up the things I pointed out.  It's not the way things usually run.  I'm grateful for it.

While he working on the living room, I was working on the entryway and the kitchen.  Tedd was working in the dining room.  Unusually, he was giving me a bit more grief than Pete in terms of cleaning.  But I knew that, unlike with his younger brother, he'd actually get the things done eventually so I left him to it.  I finished up the entryway and got started on the kitchen when I ran out of mental spoons*.  I must have looked like I was flagging because Tedd came up and put his arm around me in a hug.  "It's ok, Mom.  You've done enough.  We'll get the rest done."  For all the slight annoyance earlier, I needed that. I'm grateful for it.

Next I called Rich to let him know that I might need his help tonight.  He's been working in the office today and has to stop at the grocery store tonight, but so I was hoping that he could just do the vacuuming, maybe help a little in the kitchen.  "Tell me what the priorities are and I'll work on them.  It's ok, love."  I needed to hear that right then.  I'm grateful for it.

When I ran out to grab "thank you for helping" lunch for the boys, I dealt with kind people in the drive-thrus.  I was wished a blessed day and told to drive carefully with a smile.  It helped make my day a little better.  I'm grateful for it.

On Kind Words, I had someone tell me that my message asking to share something positive that my message WAS her positive for the day and thanked me for bringing joy into her life.  I always hope that my words, my messages asking people to share their joy with me, is helping.  Hearing that it does made me smile.  I'm grateful for it.

A lot of little things didn't go the way I wanted them to, but that's fine.  I'm choosing not to focus on those little things.  For today, I'm choosing to focus on the little things that lift my spirit rather than the little things that destroy it.  Because life is made up of the little things.  We just have to choose what little things we choose to make the focus of our day.

My books and games are little things that bring me joy.  Strange camera angles do as well.

* If you've never heard of the Spoon Theory of Chronic Illness, the whole story is here.  But basically it's about having a limited number of spoons, or things you can do, in a given day before your illness (be it mental or physical) kicks in.  Some days, I have more spoons than others.  I try to plan my days as though I'm going to have fewer spoons to do what I need to so those get done, and only worry about the other things if I've got any left.  The spoon theory is a more concrete way for me to understand why some days are more difficult than others.

Getting Things Done in a Virtual Environment

My kids haven't set foot inside a classroom since March of last year.  And honestly, I'm ok with that.   I would rather they be safely learning from home than be a danger of bringing COVID home to me or worrying that their teachers will die from it (as we've had happen in several of our surrounding counties).  However, I didn't realize just how much it would upset my own day to day work.

I don't think my house has been completely clean since before March.  Having all four of us home at once means more mess is being made and I'm having less free space to clean than I need.  Tedd and Rich both help, but they don't always see the messes that I see - rather, they are more likely to think something isn't part of the mess where it's driving me nuts.  

I usually like to have an audio book playing while I clean, which is difficult when I have people working in three different rooms, needing to listen to what a teacher or a collegue is saying.  The kitchen and the bathroom, which should be safe to clean, have the problem of being close enough to the rooms people are in that I disturb them or they disturb me.  I've tried using my headphones but they lose charge before I'm done.  And wired headphones have a tendency to get caught on things while I'm trying to clean.

On top of that, I have also found that I need to sit here while Pete is in class more often than not because he has a tendency to log out even though class is still ongoing.  I found out about that when one of his teachers called.  He's getting better, but I still need to keep checking on him to make sure he isn't skipping out.  And I need to make sure he's getting his homework done - though in a way, that's easier than when he was in person.  In person had him constantly telling me that he didn't have homework.  Then I'd find out from his teachers that he had so much outstanding it wasn't funny.  Now, I can check his schoology account and see what's due.  In person would be best for him, but at the moment virtual is safest.

Tedd has been doing great with virtual learning.  He's in all his classes, doing his homework immediately, and is being really responsible.  A lot of it, I think, is because he's able to keep his anxiety at bay.  He doesn't need to keep his camera on which helps him deal with things in ways that work best for him.  Also, he's a freshman now.  I think that makes a big difference.

So I've got to try to come up with a schedule that works for me.  I've been trying for the last 10 months, but I haven't found the one that works best for me yet.  Today is my day to focus on some of my organizational things.  I'm getting this post done.  I'm going to update my BuJo a bit more and try to figure out a schedule that makes sense.  I'm going to make lists of things that I want to get done in the next year.  I'm going to start my 52 week organization/cleaning book.  At least then I'll have something to write in my Today I...