Morning Grumps - LJ Idol 3 Strikes, Week 3

"Bubs, it's time for school!"  

Walking down the stairs, I see him pull his blanket over his head and curl as far into the couch as he can as though hiding from the morning means it won't actually happen. I can't help but smile.  I'm in a good mood and we have a little time before we need to go out the door.  I take a moment to pull down the blanket and ruffle his hair.

"You've got about an hour until we have to leave, baby.  Start to get up and get dressed!"  I hear a grunt as a hand pulls the blanket away from me to bury himself once more.  I chuckle as I move to get myself some much needed breakfast and coffee.

About 15 minutes later, I come back to him with his morning meds.  I know that if I leave it to him, it will be forgotten.  "Bubs, 45 minutes! Here's your meds!" One slim hand slips from the cocoon and I set it in his palm.  The hand starts to slide back under the covers when I remind him that I need to see him take it.  We needed to start watching him when we found too many buried in the cushions of the couch. Luckily he isn't giving me a difficult time this morning, flipping the blanket down, rolling over and popping the pill into his mouth.  His blue eyes sparkle a little as he pulls the blanket back up.  My head shakes, a smile on my face.  "45 minutes," I remind him.

30 minutes later, I check to find him still naked, but now chuckling at something on his phone.  "Pete, I need you to get dressed. We're leaving in 15."  His eyes stay glued to his phone, acting as though I'd said nothing.

"Pete.  Get dressed."

Still nothing.

I walk over to get his attention.  "Pete.  Now please."  Nothing.

My voice gets sharp.  "Peter.  Get. Dressed."  Still nothing.

I take his phone.  "Now."

This is when the screams start.  "Give me my phone back!"  

"Get dressed."

"I heard you!  Give me my phone!"

I try to keep calm, but every scream, every insistence that he did nothing wrong, every attempt to pull the phone from my hand, makes it hard to keep control of my temper.

"When you get dressed, then you can have your phone."  Every time we have a problem, this is the way it goes.  I try to be nice, bright, happy.  He ignores me until I get annoyed.  I take away his phone since it is what's keeping him from doing what he's supposed to.  More yelling and screaming.  Reminding him that when he's done what he is supposed to, then he can have his phone.  More screaming.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

This morning, the fight doesn't take as long.  I hand him his clothes, keep my anger in check, and hold his phone where he can see it.  Within 5 minutes, he has on his everyday outfit of black jogging pants and his Sonic hoodie.  I hand his phone back, "Get your shoes and socks on while you're watching your phone."  It may take the full 10 minutes we have left, but I know that it will get done.  It's the way these mornings go.

I slip my own shoes on and grab his laptop bag.  Anything to make things a little easier, I tell myself.  Once I see him slide on his sneakers, I grab my keys.  "Don't forget your mask," I remind him, pointing to the mask on the back of couch.  "I've got your bag."

As I settle myself in the car, I think back on the last hour.  I recognize that these mornings of temper tantrums and anger are happening far less.  I note the things that went right - him taking his meds without trouble, the fact that the tug of war between us lasted less time than usual, getting his shoes on.   Maybe tomorrow will be a day without fighting.  Maybe tomorrow will be a day where I come down to find him fully dressed, smiling and us getting along great.  I have hope.  

I look up and smile as the front door opens and my growing 13 year old bounds out, his mask around his neck and his plo in his hand.  I start the car, rolling down the window to remind him to close the front door with a smile.

It may have been a rough morning, but I think it will be a great day.

Pete, getting ready to head out to school.

This is the way some mornings go.