To Push or Not to Push, That is the Question - Pour Your Heart Out

Teddy started getting into Pokemon a few years ago.  It started with sitting on Daddy's lap, watching him play the video game.  Then it turned into him playing the video game on his own.  A little more than a year ago, he started playing the card game at our local league.  He really seemed to love it, and it helped that he was doing really well during his first few tournaments.  A second place at a pre-release tournament.  A third place at a Battle Roads.  He was excited to go to League every Sunday and pull out his deck, testing it against anyone who would play with him.  He started making friends among the other Junior-level players.  He was happy.

Teddy hamming it up at a recent tournament.

Until he started losing.

With each loss, he'd get upset and start crying.  He'd swear that he didn't want to play anymore.  Sundays he would ask to stay home instead of go to League.  And if there was a tournament, he didn't care if he went or not.  Or if he did go, he'd play his DS the whole time he was there instead of breaking out his deck to play with his friends.  It wasn't the Pokemon that he stopped enjoying - it was the card game.

Before I had kids, I'd sworn that I would never push them to do anything they didn't want to.  (Well, except go to school.  That's kind of a requirement.)  If they didn't want to play a particular sport or an instrument, they didn't have to.  If they didn't want to go to college, they didn't have to.  The important thing was that they were happy.  Because I knew that the surest way to make them hate something was to force them to do it whether they felt like it or not.

And I still believe that it's more important for my kids to choose their own activities, to find what they enjoy.  But when it comes to Teddy and Pokemon, I'm finding that it's so much more difficult.  Because I don't know whether his desire to not play any more or that he's annoyed because it isn't easy any more.  If it's the first, then I won't push him but if it's the second.... that won't be sending the right message.

Teddy has the same problem in life that I did.  Intellectual things come to easy.  He's always been able to catch on to things quickly and it's made him think that everything should be easy.  He doesn't have the patience to work at things because he hates to fail.  And rather than try to keep learning, practicing, getting better, he convinces himself that he'll never be able to do it so why try?  And that's not a lesson that I want him to learn.  It's the path I took through life, and it's why I'm sitting here without my degree, 20 years of being a semester away from graduating.  He deserves better.

I've tried asking him why he doesn't want to play and he gives me a non-committal shrug.  And I don't think it's because he doesn't want to tell me but because he honestly isn't sure himself why he doesn't want to play.  He just knows that he's not having as much fun with it anymore and not thinking about it beyond that.

So here I am, trying to decide which instinct to follow.  Do I put my child's happiness first, following a rule I set down before he was born to not force something he doesn't enjoy, or do I try to continue making this a lesson about what perseverance can give him?  If I could guarantee that he'd get better and start winning again, I'd know what route to take.  But life doesn't have guarantees, particularly with the talented kids we have playing at our league.  He could end up getting no better and just hating it more and more.  I have no way of knowing.

I suspect I'll try to keep him going for a little while longer.  Try to get him to keep playing so maybe, just maybe, the regular practice will help him play better.  And hope that there will come a time that I won't regret this decision.

February Picture of the Day - Day 3 - Something Beginning with "E"

Today was our local Pre-Release for the newest Pokemon expansion cards.  Knowing the cards like I do, I figured I'd have a pretty good shot at getting something beginning with an E here.  And I was right.  I pulled an Eviolite. So this is my "E" picture for today.  Come back tomorrow and see what I chose to take a picture of for "hope".

Friday Fragments

This is the first time I'm participating in this wonderful meme at half-past kissin' time.  (Click on the picture and you'll be taken to her site.)  I've got a lot of fragments running through my mind right now, so this is the perfect time for it.

• When I got out of my funk and started checking out my blog again late yesterday (yep, the mood from Wednesday kinda bubbled over into yesterday too), I found a wonderful surprise.  The wonderful people who host Thirsty for Comments Thursdays (and that would be Acting Balanced, Silver Faeries and Dragonflies, Thoughts 'n Such, Crazed Mama and Touristic) honored me my making Sanity's Overrated the featured blog for the day/week.  They even linked me up in the top link-up spot.  Thank you, guys.  You really helped turn my mood around with that!
  
• Yesterday, we got news that relieved a little of my stress.  University of Phoenix offered my husband another class.  He's been working for them as a second job for the last couple of years.  It's been pretty steady work, giving him a 5 week class or two to teach pretty close to constantly.  But for some reason, the last couple months have dried up.  He had one class through September, but nothing new seemed to be on the horizon.  Now it is.  And today, he got another class to start around the end of the time of the one from yesterday.  It's taking a HUGE weight off my mind.
• I had a DUH moment the other day.  I was coming into the living room where the boys were watching the pilot episode of Planet Sheen. There was a seen where Sheen was introducing the king of the planet he crash-landed on to the monkey (who is far more intelligent than Sheen, but then, who isn't?) that had crashed there many years before.  He said something like, "This is Nesmith.  He's a monkey, but we call him an ape."  And it was only then that I put together those two facts along with the fact that Nesmith wore a wool hat to realize the homage that was being paid (for those that may not catch it either, Mike Nesmith was a member of The Monkees and he wore a signature wool hat in the show).  And I could have slapped myself for it.  I've been a big fan of the Monkees since the mid-80s when they did their first reunion tour, and I missed this completely obvious reference.  And I don't have the excuse of it being the first time I watched the show.  No.  I've seen, in part or in whole, at least a dozen episodes where the info was right in front of my face.  Yeah.  Sometimes I'm a little slow.
• I took a big step last Sunday and played a few games of Pokemon with people that were NOT in my family.  It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be.  I may do the same on Sunday... or I may shop at Goodwill for Halloween Costumes.
• Speaking of Halloween, I wish my boys would make up their minds.  First Teddy wanted to be the Hulk.  Now he wants to be Ash from Pokemon.  I'm actually ok with him being Ash because I've got a lot of the things for that already.  Though now he's talking about being one of the gym leaders.  Pete keeps bouncing between Pikachu (which would be easiest because, unlike Teddy, he still fits in last year's costume), Panpour and Tepig. I told them they needs to make up their minds this weekend.  I'm going to Goodwill to look for things to make their costumes on Sunday.
• I'm catching another cold.  Or maybe the same one wasn't as dormant as I thought.  I'd gotten over the scratchy throat, the stuffy nose and the cough sometime in the middle of me getting the flu.  But last night, the stuffy nose came back and this morning, the scratchy throat is.  Time to start pounding the zinc!
• I'm so grateful that the boys have found a love for Pokemon.  While it does often get tiring to hear about Pokemon constantly, they've found a great community in our local league, with everyone being supportive of everyone else.  And they're also learning the right way to act when a game is over, with a handshake and a "good game".  It amazes me when I hear the two of them playing a game in the other room and then, without prompting, I heard, "Good game."  And not just from Teddy, but Peter too.  Now if I can get them to work that attitude into the rest of their lives....
• I'm thinking of starting a weekly meme.  Just a fun little thing to do and, hopefully, get others to join in the fun.  I was going to start it today (it will be called, tentatively "Friday Favorites") but I haven't had a chance to build a button for people to snag for the hopping.  So I'm hoping next week will be a little calmer, both in terms of stress levels and things I need to do.  But watch this space for a new meme!
• Finally, I had to buy a webcam today for something Rich needed it for,  It's the first one I've had in... probably 5 years or so.  It's so much smaller than I'm used to!  But I am hoping that, having it hooked up to the desktop, I may be able to start doing some vlogging once in awhile too.

Thanks for stopping by and reading the fragments of my mind.  If you're interested in more fragments, head on over!

Pokemon-Loving Boys Evolution Chart - a Tale of Potty Traini

Potty training with Teddy felt like a nightmare.  He just didn't seem to be interested and I couldn't find the magic way to make him interested.  At the time, he was edging closer to 4 and if he hadn't started using the potty by the beginning of the next school year, he wouldn't be allowed to go to Parents' Day Out.  So I cast around for ideas, trying anything that anyone would suggest.  But it was Teddy that helped me come up with the idea that stuck.

From the time he was around 3 or so, Teddy was interested in Pokemon.  He watched his Dad play on the computer and on his DS, then started playing himself on the computer and the DS.  Eventually, he even started playing the CCG (collectible card game), but that came later.  He knew stats on most of the pokemon out there, including their evolutions.  So it was no surprise that, one day, he asked if he'd eventually evolve into Daddy.  "Of course," I told him.  "But first, you need to evolve into a Big Boy."

"How do I evolve into a Big Boy?" he asked.

And here is where my inspiration struck.  "Well, you need to learn to use the potty.  Once you do, you'll use an evolution stone and have the move, 'Potty Master'.  Then you'll be a Big Boy."

"Can we get a Potty Stone?"  He was pretty excited.  So we went to the store and picked out some ceramic monsters that we declared to be Potty Stones.  I promised that we'd paint them too.  But that got sidelined for awhile and then forgotten as the Potty Stones were misplaced.

When it was time to potty train Pete, the thought of the potty stone was in my mind.  I didn't go hard core in trying to train him until school was out for the year and I could focus on it.  But when I did, he learned quickly.  And Teddy wanted to make sure he got what he was due.

"Pete gets a Potty Stone too, right?  It's time for him to evolve into a big boy?"

So this is how I found myself, yesterday afternoon, with three ceramic monsters (because, of course, Mommy needed a potty stone too), two little boys and acrylic paint ready to do some painting.  It had been so long since I purchased the paint, though, that most of the colors had dried and were unusable.  But there was still enough that we were able to make a game try.

About an hour later, I had two boys very proud of their potty stones (which will be, I'm told, displayed in the bathroom for all to see).  The painting on each of them is as individual as each of them.

Peter holding on to his Potty Stone.

Teddy with his Potty Stone

All three Potty Stones - mine, Teddy's and Pete's.

They told me that I needed to take a picture with my Potty Stone too.

Now it's official.  Both my Baby Boys have evolved into Big Boys.  And I couldn't be prouder.

On the Road to Being a Pokemon Master

Teddy has been a Pokemon fanatic for the last few years.  It started by watching Daddy play Pokemon on the DS and on the computer. Then it moved to watching the show, getting the toys and stuffed animals and being able to quote Pokemon moves chapter and verse.  For the last six months or so, he's actually gotten into the Pokemon TCG.  At first, it was just cool to look at the Pokemon cards and see what moves were there.  Then, when watching Daddy play with my nephew, Robbie, Teddy started wanting to play as well.  We started with pre-made decks and, for awhile, that wasn't too bad.  He wasn't ready to play anyone other than Daddy.

But then we took him to the pre-release for the newest expansion, Next Destinies, held at Outer Limits Boro.  We'd been to one of the Pokemon Nashville League events before, but it had been awhile.  That had been like a toe dipped into the water.  The pre-release was more like cannonballing into the deep end.

Even though Teddy was the youngest player there (and, quite probably, is the youngest in the league), he was welcomed with open arms, playing against others in the junior division and being supported by the older players when one of his matches went into sudden death.  He didn't win much, but he also didn't care.  The fun was in the playing.  I was actually really proud of him, because, being six, he has a tendency to get upset when things don't go his way.  But he just shook the hands of his fellow players, said, "Good game" and went on to the next bit of play.

That's Teddy on the end on the right.  It was his last match of the day.

Because of his good sportsmanship, we decided that we'd try taking him to the Sunday League meeting up in Madison.  And, while the first week we went he didn't have a lot of people wanting to play with him, his visit this past weekend gave us a glimpse into his future.

Along with the usual "get together and play", there is a six-week program for some of the younger players called Catch-Six, designed to teach life skills through Pokemon.  We figured that it would be a good thing for Teddy to participate in, maybe helping him with some of the issues typical for six year old boys.  We missed the first week because we had something else going on that weekend, but Rich took Teddy for week two this past weekend.  And Teddy made a great impression.  Even though he's the youngest, he had the best recall of any of the kids in the program.  It was a great start for him, and I was proud of him when Rich told me about it later.

After the Catch Six program, Teddy went among the players to find people to play against and had a fantastic time, as we knew he would.  There were a lot of people getting ready for State next weekend, trying out their decks and getting a feel for how they'd play.  We weren't going to bring Teddy to States, knowing that he's still very much a beginning player with a less-than-optimal deck.  We knew that he'd have no chance of doing well and we didn't want to see him disappointed.

But Rich was talking with Professor Rick (the coordinator of the Nashville area League) and he encouraged us to bring him anyway.  Yes, he probably wouldn't win.  He needs to work on strategy more than what he has so far.  But it would be great practice.  Teddy is in the junior league, which runs up to age 10, and Rick predicted that by the time he was 9 or 10, he could walk away with all of it.  He's got the knowledge, he just needs to work on the strategy and get the good decks together.  That will come in time.  So getting him to more events like State will only help him in the long run.  To help him have the best experience possible, Rick also gave Rich (it gets confusing with these same names) cards for Teddy to help build his deck.

So next Saturday, we'll all be embarking on a new journey. Teddy will be attending his first honest-to-God competition.  And I'll be bringing him to his first honest-to-God competition.  I suspect it will be the first of many.  And I'm actually looking forward to it.  Is it what I was planning on doing for my birthday weekend?  No, of course not.  But do I mind?  Not in the least.  Because what better gift could I get than to see my eldest happy, doing something he enjoys?

The Pokemon 12 Days of Christmas

This afternoon, at Teddy's request, he and Rich sat down and figured out the Pokemon 12 Days of Christmas.  Teddy was most of the way there so it's definitely his baby.  He wanted me to share it.  And rather than write out the whole things, I'm going to start on Day 12.  (Since most of you know how the 12 Days of Christmas goes anyway.)

On the Twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Twelve Squirtles squirting
Eleven Swellows flying
Ten Chimchars blazing
Nine Sandiles digging
Eight Miltanks milking
Seven Muks a sludging
Six Klinks a clanging
Five Ultra Balls
Four apricorns
Three TMs
Two Blazikens
And a Snivy on a vine whip.

He has his daddy's love of parody.