19 April 2011

Just Hugs... Please

I can't go into a lot of detail about all of it right now, but today has been a day of complete and utter suck.  I have a lot of worries on my mind, a lot of things that I have to push through with.  I've got so many things going through my mind and I want to write but I just can't.  I want to write about mundane things, to catch myself up on my postings and my A to Zs.  But I can't think of it right now.  I can't focus on the things that I need to because of other things on my mind.

One of the things that I can talk about is Teddy's continuing to push me to the point of unreasonable anger.  He refuses to listen to what I tell him when he's not hearing the things that he wants to hear.  He runs out of the house to do what he wants to do.  He stands in front of my cart when we're in the store and I'm not heading to the portion of the store he wants to immediately go to.  He informs me that he WILL do what he wants, regardless of what I say.  And I've tried everything I can think of to get him to calm down and try to be the reasonable boy that I know is in there somewhere.  I love him, but sometimes I just don't know how to handle him.  And today he was in top form, precisely when I didn't need him to be.  It was another reason for my to want to be an ostrich right now.

The last thing that is sucktastic is the death of Elisabeth Sladen.  For those who aren't familiar with her, or who don't feel like following the link, she played Sarah Jane Smith on Doctor Who.  She started as a companion in the 70s and has been one of the Doctor's most loved companions.  She was even the first person from old Who that the producers brought back.  She was popular enough that she had her own series that ran for four years.  And today, she died at 63 of complications of cancer.  And it's hitting me hard.

Another thing that isn't a today thing but is a this week this is the fact that I've manage to have us be without a camera.  The brand new camera we bought a couple weeks ago slid into the washer without my knowledge and went through the wash cycle.  It's currently being looked at by the Geek Squad, but one of the only 2 things that aren't covered is submersion so I'm not expecting much from it.  Then the old camera, which I figured we could use as a backup until we found out what happened with the new one, has disappeared.  No idea where it's at.  I've tried tearing the apartment apart, but so far, no luck.  And, of course, I have a swap that I need to have it for.  Plus, I had pictures from our walk with the SparkNashville crew last week as well.

I need a reboot.  I need to restart all the sucky things in my life so I have some modicum of control.  I'm not getting it at the moment, and I don't know how to get it.  I want to curl up in bed and pretend that the world doesn't exist.  But I can't.  Because I'm Mommy. And Wife. And Friend. And an ADULT.

But sometimes I really hate being an adult.  I'd just love to throw a tantrum like Teddy does sometimes.  I know it won't cure anything, but I wonder if it might not make me feel better.