21 February 2011

Blog Dare for February 21, 2010 - Pre-Mommy Childbirth Fears

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A lot of the traditional fears ran through my mind before I had Teddy. First was the fear that I wouldn't be able to get to the hospital before he was born. I had elaborate scenarios going through my brain where Nashville would be caught in a blizzard and we wouldn't be able to get to the hospital. Or I'd be on the way to the hospital during rush hour and there would be a huge accident preventing us from getting to the hospital. Or something would happen to Vanderbilt and I wouldn't be able to have the baby there so I'd be somewhere that I didn't know the doctors.

Then there were the fears that I'd go into premature labor. My mom had my sister two months early and there was a lot of fear that she wouldn't make it, so the thought was firmly in my own head when I had my kids. Even knowing that technology has come a long way in 30 years, there was still fear. Because there were a lot of things that couldn't be fixed.

Finally, there were the fears that I wouldn't be able to have an epidural. I knew that I wouldn't have handled the pain well, so I didn't want to have to be without pain medication. My sister put a lot of fears of that in my mind, telling me that there was a possibility that I might not be able to have it because of my weight and the back surgery I'd had in 2004. It had me nervous enough that once I saw my OB for the first time I asked for a referral to the anesthesiologist so I'd know for sure.

Of course, none of my fears came to pass. My water broke at 2 in the morning, 6 days after Teddy was due, and there was just a light snow on the road into the hospital. The anesthesiologist was able to get the epidural in with no problem. That's not to say that the labor went as planned - my epidural ran out at one point (which ended up getting me a permanent anesthesiologist in my room for the rest of the day) and I was dilated at 9.75 cm for 6 hours, so my doctor decided it would be better for me to have a C-Section. I didn't think having a C-Section would bother me, but I was a bit wistful after I the fact. But it didn't take me long to remember the important thing - Teddy was born healthy and there both of us came through the delivery safely. Rich was by my side through all of it and that was all that mattered.