04 April 2011

A is for.... Amber (A to Z challenge)

This was supposed to be posted on Friday, but considering I didn't know about the challenge until today, I figured I'd post 3 days together in one.  I hope you enjoy reading what I have to put forth in this challenge.

The first day is, naturally, the first letter of the alphabet.  A.  I debated on what A to post about - should I talk about the letter and what it means to me?  Should I talk about apples and how I love them baked but don't care for them raw?  Should I talk about Aardvarks and other silly things?  Or should I talk about the topic that kept coming back to mind - me.  I tried to talk myself out of it, saying that it would seem conceited to talk about myself.  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized two things:

  1. It would be a good way for new readers to get to know me without diving back into all my old posts, and
  2. This is my blog, and I can write whatever I want.
So I decided to go with it.  After all, what could it hurt?  (Please don't answer that!!!!)

My name, as my reply to the challenge implies, is Amber.  I'm a 37 year old stay-at-home mom of two boys. They alternately fill me with joy and drive me to distraction.  But I've heard that's what boys do.  I know they did when I was a kid, so I don't expect mine will be much different.

Teddy is five and will be starting kindergarten in the fall.  This fills me with dread!  He's incredibly smart and sensitive and funny and... he's not my baby any more!  He's growing up and there are times I want him to be little forever.  But then he'll throw a temper tantrum and I realize that I really DON'T want him little forever.  But he's a pretty good kid.  He loves his brother, loves to give hugs and kisses, and introduces himself to everyone he meets - from the lady at the bank inside the store to someone he's sitting next to at an event.  (Yeah, I keep a close eye on him during his introductions.)  He relates most of his world to his passion, Pokemon.  And for now, that's ok.

Peter is 2 1/2 and is my daredevil.  I love this boy to death, but he knows how to make my heart stop.  He'll climb anything, anywhere.  And usually succeeds.  He adores Teddy... almost hero worship.  Whatever Teddy does, Pete wants to do the same thing.  I suspect next fall is going to be toughest on Pete because he won't have Teddy around any longer.  Pete's got two settings.  He's either super happy or super pissed.  Occasionally, he'll have forays into quietly contemplative.  That's when I get my Pete snuggles.  Like his brother, he's a pretty good kid.  When I don't have to pull him down from something.

Why, in talking about myself, did I start with my kids?  Because they ARE a large part of who I am.  I spend every day and every night with them, except for the two days a week they go to Parents' Day Out.  I'm trying to make sure they grow up to be good men, with a fantastic sense of humor.  And that they use the brains God gave them.  There's a reason I called my blog Sanity's Overrated.  Because in this house, it really is!

So that's two of the people that help make me who I am.  The third is my husband, Rich.  He's the best man I've ever met.  He is patient when I'm having a bad day, works his butt off to make sure we've got a roof over our head and food on the table, can cheer me up when I'm down and knows just the right lines to throw at me so I can respond with the witty come-back.  He's got a real mind for trivia and I learn a lot from him every day.

Now back to me.  Just like everyone else, I have some good and some bad about me.  I try to be a good friend, being there when someone needs me.  I try to be a good human being, supporting my fellow man when they need me.  I've got a more than passable voice and a pretty quick mind... most days.  I love to read and I do book reviews here along with my every day things.  I love to write as well.  I'm part of a couple online role-playing games that give me the chance to stretch my writing chops.  I'm also part of a swapping community, where we write letters or make crafts or put together packages for someone we've been partnered with on a specific swap.  I do my best to put my all into all the swaps that I do.  And it's something that helps relax me a bit.

The bad are things that I'm working on changing.  I've got a short temper, especially with the kids.  When I feel high levels of stress, I have a tough time calming down.  And having two boys (what do I know about boys?  I grew up with a little sister!) is definitely stress-inducing.  But I'm trying to find better outlets for my temper.  I tend toward taking the easy way - sitting in front of the computer rather than cleaning or exercising, avoiding hard work.  But again, I'm trying to change that.  I participate on SparkPeople and have actually been actively seeking out exercise since Friday.  I spent most of today working on cleaning my dining room and living room.  There's still a long way to go (I got rid of the disaster, but there's still fires that need to be put out), but I'm trying to live the FlyLady way.  I've suffered from depression for most of my life, but I'm on medication and am trying to do things to keep myself more active so I don't have time to be depressed.

There are a lot of different facets to me, like any fine gem.  Sometimes I can be positive about myself, happy and hyper and ready to take on the world.  Then something will happen and the wind will shift to show another facet where I'm down and convinced I do nothing right.  It's just who I am and how I relate.

I write about a lot of things here.  Being a public forum, I don't usually get into the lowest times that I feel.  Because I never know who'll be stopping by and what they may think of me.  But I do try to present a pretty accurate picture of me.  I don't post in a certain way to please certain people.  I post how I feel at the moment.  And that's why you may feel the insanity coming from my blog.  Because I never know what kind of mood I'll be in for the next post.

Did I answer who I am?  Not completely.  But can anyone answer who they are completely?  I don't think so.  If you're curious to know more about who I am, please post a comment.  There are very few things that I won't reply to publicly.