28 January 2013

30 Days of Blogging Prompts - Day 2

Back for day 2 of 30 Days of Blogging Prompts!  Today, I get to talk about

3 Legitimate Fears and How They Became Fears

While I can quite easily do the first part, the second might be a little more difficult.  Because with most of my fears, I'm not sure really HOW they came about.  But I'll give it a try.

For the first one, I'm going to cop out a little because I just talked about it in Mental Health Mondays - social anxiety.  If you want more details, click on the link and read the post.  But the gist of it is that I'm incredibly afraid to deal with people professionally and, often, socially.  I'm afraid to make phone calls or go into a business to ask for something outside of the norm.  I don't like making phone calls to family or friends.  A lot of times, I don't even like answering my own phone when it rings.  And I lay it all at the feet of depression and low self esteem.

Another fear is heights.  Again, I can't say exactly WHY I'm afraid of heights.  I've always said that it's because I'm short.  If I were any taller, I'd be used to looking further toward the ground and heights wouldn't freak me out so much.  While that probably isn't true, what actually happens is that I'm nervous about my own stability.  I worry that I will lose my balance and fall to my death. I worry that something will break and I'll go tumbling, completely out of my control.  The worst was when I was in school in Downsville, NY.  There is one set of stairs there which has a... well, "bridge" is the best description for it that I can think of... between two parts of the stairs.  Each part of the stairs was against the wall, but this bridge between them was only connected at either end.  I had visions of tumbling over either side, getting jostled or pushed, and falling a story below to crumple on the ground below.  I always did have an overactive imagination.

This last fear is also one that I can't exactly say where it comes from, other than I think it might actually be hereditary.  I'm afraid of anything living that flies.  Petrified of them.  I can't go into bird enclosures.  If a fly comes near me, I freeze.  If a bird is hopping around near my van, I can't go outside.  There's just something about anything that can fly that freaks me out.  I think what it is is that they can go anywhere in three dimensions, so something that's small and near my feet can suddenly end up at my eye level.  It just spooks me because I'm not sure what to expect.  

And the hereditary thing?  Not kidding.  My mom is afraid of birds, as is my uncle.  Something like that can't just be coincidence, can it? (Ok, it probably is.  But I still say it's hereditary!)

Me, afraid of heights?
Not much!